Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
Hopefully, you'll get the presents you were hoping for. If not, well, St. Patrick's Day is right around the corner! Don't underestimate the squeegee
I was looking for other weblogs that may be worth reading when I came across this article over at Chicken Soup Laced With Cyanide. I'm telling you, people have some creative site names nowadays. But anyways, about this squeegee: apparently, some guys stuck in an express lift in the WTC North Tower were able to pick their way through with the metal end of two squeegees (they lost the first squeegee down the elevator shaft). And, with five minutes to spare, too!

Right about now, I'd post a picture of a squeegee in some Captain America garb, but I can't seem to find such a picture. I can't even find a good pic of a squeegee, let alone a heroic-looking one. Not like my Photoshop skills could help me out in this situation... What the hell am I talking about? God damnit, Jerome, stop your friggin' rambling. *slaps self* Jackass. People are stupid.
Got a long-overdue haircut today. My hair looks like its way too short now, although it's not any shorter than when it normally gets cut. This may have something to do with the fact that my fro was way way way too long before I got it cut. My grandmother thinks I look like I got a prisoner's haircut. She's so sweet. (Bitch.) No one else seems to like it either. Bah. Screw them all.

* Spam = good for business? According to this survey, over 82% of those polled bought something online because of an email they received. Interesting. I hope that doesn't mean that I'll be getting more spam because of this survey. What I would really like to know is how many online purchases these people have made because of spam they got, and compare that number to the amount of spam they have received over the past year. I bet it is the ratio is like 1 in 100,000. Unless we're dealing with new computer users that like to watch QVC, of course.

* Hey! Let's make the moon red! This is probably dumber than that candlelight vigil people tried to do because of the WTC attack, saying that NASA was going to take a picture of all of the candlelight beaming into space. Right... because candles are bright enough to escape our atmosphere... I don't think laser pens are gonna cut it, either.

* Let us not forget the link from yesterday with the chick and her 4runner. Need I say more?

And finally, how about a Taiban joke?

Q: What is Osama Bin Laden going to be for Halloween?
A: He's gonna be dead.

Yeah, it's lame. Sue me. I didn't make it up. Pretty pictures
Want some pictures? Well, I got some.

I found this over at Blues. Check out the full name on the envelope. Then, think about it. Get it? I bet Mr. Ahs really did order the software, too. :p

Rule #1: DO NOT PUMP GAS THIS WAY! Several things are wrong with those pictures. First, the driver is a woman. Second, she has a cell phone. Third, well... how the hell do you pull off a stunt like that without knowing about it until it's too late? Damn.

Here's a story about ASCII art. It's written mostly in ASCII art, too. Some of the art is really cool, although it makes you wonder why people wasted so much time making these pics.

Looking for a nice piece of Arabian ass? Say no more! Taliban Singles Online is here for you! Weekend at Jonny's
Jon wants me to write something up about my wonderful trip to his place outside of New York City and our great experiences in Manhattan. Unfortunately, there isn't really much to say. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary that happened. It wasn't the first time I have been in New York City, either, so I can really say that I was blown away by the liveliness of the city and all of the skyscrapers and whatnot. Maybe I can bullshit something, though, for the sake of making this post worth reading. I doubt I can, though, especially since I don't feel like typing something up. I'm such a lazy bastard. Instead, maybe I'll just write a bunch of bulleted points, sort of like my fun facts of spring break:

* At night, don't make eye contact with the people of Jon's city, New Rochelle. You're likely to get sprayed full of lead.
* Jon had a piece of plastic from his shoe jabbing his foot for most of my stay.
* Stereophonics opened for U2. There was no Garbage. No Doubt wasn't there, either. Hum.
* Stereophonics was a decent opener until we realized every song was the same song.
* I made it from Brattleboro, VT to New Rochelle, NY to Springfield, MA on a tank of gas. That's five hours of driving. Bring it.
* There was a lot of American and New York pride at the concert.
* U2 had two encores.
* Jon loves his new car.
* I forgot my jacket, but I still survived in the cold, windy night.
* I wondered if I would get sick if I stayed in the subway long enough.
* Jon wanted to make sure that WWF New York got trashed in this post. The food was unremarkable.
* There was a hot chick one row in front of us that made the show worth the $96.
* On the other extreme, some gay guys were sipping each other's beers through straws at the concert.
* The Big Show and Andre the Giant don't have small hands.
* The Hurricane kicks ass. "What's up with that?" Hehe.
* We saw a white Ferrari cruising down the highway.
* I want one of those multi-story skyscraper video walls to replace the TV in my bedroom.
* There are a lot of Volkswagens, Audis, and other not-so-cheaply-priced cars north of New York City. Go figure.
* We drove through Frank's town.
* Movie quote: "Oh shit!" "Yes."
* It gets dark really quickly now that Daylight Savings Time is over.

So there you go. Josh is funny 2 but Jarrod is funnier
This conversation was about the fact that Jarrod bought an old Jeep with an older Buick engine which is kinda funny. Plus its turning out to be a hunk of crap. Plus he traded in his Camaro to get it. Plus he paid money.

Josh: CNN says you should telecomute, it is less deadly than going to work
Josh: plus you can code in the nude!
Me: ok
Me: dde
Josh: dde?
Me: what is up with J-Rod?
Me: dude
Josh: ummm
Josh: hes gay? I don't know.
Me: how's his jeep doing?
Josh: we fuct it up bad this weekend
Josh: ..well not we..but him
Me: oh? how?
Josh: first we totally bent the hell out of his windshield hinges, then we snapped of 2 bolts and lost 3 nuts inside the windsheild frame
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH
Me: why and how?
Josh: basically to put in $ 25 worth of radio and speakers we caused about 500 worth of damage
Josh: ummm
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Josh: well to put in his speakers you have to pull off the dash board but to do that you have to undo the safety bolts inside the jeep and then the windshiel issupposed to fold down(like a door, hence the hinges)
Me: dude
Me: that is a comedy of errors
Josh: but becuz his jeep is budget the windshield wasnt folding, so we leaned into it and it folded, so we thought, but in actuality the hinges remained in place, but we bent the steel part of the hinges where they are bolted to the windshield
Me: HAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Me: you guys rock
Josh: so we bend it back up and decide to just take the hinges off and take the windshield off and do it like that
Me:5dude, I am sitting here in my office by myself laughing my ass off
Josh: well the bolts were coroded and covered with paint cuz whoever painted it just sprayed the entire jeep, so we had to drill out 1 bolt and I snapped another off..
Josh: but finally we got the hinges off
Me: oh my god
Josh: mind you we havent even thought about the dash yet
Josh: the dash was a mess too
Josh: all of the electronics in his car are like connected with wire nuts and electric tape...real quality stff
Josh: the computer that came from the buick to control the engine, yeah its duct taped to the underneath of the dashboard
Me: dude, is he ready to scrap that hunk of junk yet or what??
Josh: and all of his wires come together in one of those boxes that you put outlets and switches in..
Josh: ok so we take off all the bolts to the dash....
Josh: and guess what...
Josh: the dash wouldnt move
Me: hahah
Josh: so we fuck with it for a while and then jarrod say..ok all we gotta do is pull up cuz it is just caught on one hook...at this point i am like 'I don't believe it is that easy'
Josh: in my mind I am going, 'dude, I know this is gonna get fucked up'
Josh: guess what, it did
Me: HAHAHAHHA dude
Me: I am laughing out loud, and people are wondering wht the fuck is going on with me
Josh: we pulled up gently, and ripped like 11 screws out of the dash board...but the dash is finally able to slide forward some so we can get at the speakers..i rrmind you this is about 2 hours of fairly intesive labor here for 25 dollar speakers
Me: dude, this is is going on AtG
Josh: ok so we take the old speakers out and the new ones go in, and the one on my (passenger side ) works like a charm but the driver side makes no sound
Josh: so Jrod looks underneath the dash and says 'well it goes from 2 wires to 4 wires, then it is electrically taped to some more wires, then it is in some ort of ill fitting harness'
Josh: so I am like, well thats not too bad cuz I have done some weird stuff to car stereos, then the other shoe falls, jarrod concludes by saying 'in the first 3 inches....'
Me: DUDE
Me: toooooooo funny
Josh: Im like what the fuck...i look under there, its like edward scissorhands and gary the retard did the wiring
Josh: so I am like, you are fucked, it is gonna take you 2 weeks just to figure out how the hell the wire is fuct and how to fix it..so we put everything back, and it is relatively smooth...
Me: R-E-D
Josh: except for the fact that the windshield is now about 6 inches forward of where the roll bar is, and so we muscle it back into place and i hold while Jrod bolts it down, but somehow the fucking windshelid is way off alignment so the bolts are going in at about a 30 degree angle as opposed to straight in, I am like whatever, we can fix it when we put the new hinges on.
Josh: so all thats left is to bolt the remaining bolts back to the hinges and the windshield will be done and we can put the top back on
Josh: so we go to put the bolts in, and Jrod bolts his 3 remaining in and it is my turn to bolt down the three remaining bolts on my side (there shouldbe 4 but we lost one on each side)
Josh: so i go to bolt mine in... and the nuts that are tack welded to the inside of the windsheild frame arent there...they all snapped off...
Josh: so on the passenger side ther are like 3 of the seven bolts that shoud be there...
Me: the tacks that hold the hings to the windshield?
Josh: thats when i went away
Me: did you kick and punch shit?
Josh: no
Josh: i didnt, its not my vehicle
Me: yeah, but ou could hpunched the wlal
Me: lets try that again: yeah, but you could have punched the wall
Josh: to hold the bolts (which hold the hinges and the frame of the windsheild together) are recieved by nuts that are just tack welded to the insideof the frame...and apparently I am super jacked and me and jrod busted them all
Josh: so thatws the story of that
Josh: we didnt even get to putting any of the parts that he actually needs into the jeep, we just put in the speakers
Josh: i think that is the most I have ever chatted in 20 mins, i mean density wise

Josh is funny
The following conversation occurred in reference to this post:

Me: dude, you are having withdrawal
Josh: from?
Josh: buttsex?
Josh: Birthdays was the worst days now we sip champagne when we thirsty
Me: what?
Josh: Notorious BIG - Juicy
Me: oh
Me: you having withdrawal for that drug they gave you for your ribs
Josh: nah
Me: you having withdrawal from hanging out with cool people like me?
Me: did you read my story about the yanks game?
Josh: back in the day I would take 3 perks and drink a fifth of vodka..that would fuck you u
Josh: yeah its cool
Me: just wondering if you caught the reference about rich roommates ;-)
Josh: no..i did not know who you were talking about, I don't know of any rich roomates!
Me: hahah
Josh: does he read your pagE?
Me: no idea
Me: but I made it kind of subtle
Me: I doubt he does
Me: plus he doesn't have the attention span to read a story that long
Josh: it was not subtle at all
Me: haha
Josh: how many of us had our parents do our laundry?
Me: I am king subtle, what are you talking about?
Me: well, I could have a roommate right now who has his parents do their laundry
Josh: subtle like a multiple orgasm

Halloween stuff
With this Halloween link, you can build your own monster. I thought it was neato.
Then there is this flash movie/game celebrating the 'trick' side of trick or treating. Thanks to CHodges.

Go D'Backs! If this thing has four terabytes of memory...
I wonder how much midget lesbian porn you could fit on its hard drive!

Yeeeaaah...! Colin Powell Gonna Bomb His Home
Here is a really funny Flash animation concerning American Policy in Afghanistan. Thanks to my uncle. Here is another Flash animation, not quite as funny as the first, but still funny, concerning the same topic. Thanks to I forget.

Jokes from Serpa:

Q: What do Bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing, yet.

Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-1...

Q: What is the Taliban's national bird?
A: Duck

Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.

Q: What do Osama bin Laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!

Q: What's the difference between the Taliban and a bucket of shit?
A: The bucket

Q: What's the five day forecast for Afghanistan?
A: Two days.

Q: Why doesn't the Taliban have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day?
A: Because the camels can't handle it.

And here are two links concerning references in Led Zeppelin's music concerning the Hobbit and The Lord Of the Rings, which is appropriate since the first of the movies will be out in less than 5 weeks. Good Zeppelin-Tolkien site. Better Zeppelin-Tolkien site. Geekage
Lots of things popping over in the tech sector these days. Today, Windows XP has been launched. "The system promises fewer computer crashes and will allow users to delete data from their hard drive," says this CNN article. Wow! I will be able to delete data? That's fucking awesome! I was wondering why most of my hard drive was full. I guess that whole recycle bin on the desktop doesn't work, eh? Maybe this'll mean Jon can stop buying new hard drives. ;) You can delete things now. Hot damn. It's sentences like those that make me wonder why they even bothered typing it out.

I love the pic of Gates in that article, too. I think some invisible guy is giving him the Vulcan death grip.

I also found this neat article over at... uh... damn. I don't know where I got it. But anyhoo, it looks like black holes can give off energy as well as sucking in everything in its path. This happens when the black hole comes into contact with a magnetic field. Does that mean that black holes can't "digest" magnetic fields? If so, I guess these huge voids in space have met their match. Or something.

Hey, there's a lot of American internet users out there. Like, five times more than any other country and probably more than all other countries combined. I wish there was a pie chart I could look at to get an idea of how much we own in cyberspace, but I guess this site will have to do.

According to the Sunday fliers, one could get a 16x internal DVD player for $50 after rebates at the Best Buys in my area. Hmmm... I'm tempted.

And I'm only 45% geek. "You probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. You never really fit in with the 'normal' crowd. But you have friends, and this is a good thing." Rage against the machine
I was playing the old school Mega Man games for the NES, and it looks like that sometime in this coming decade, Capcom's prediction will come true: Megaman will be born. That also means that there will be an uprising in the sentient robot population, and the creations of a pair of doctors will cause lots of mini-nuclear explosions in the same unknown city over and over again. The heralded blue bomber of Dr. Light will emerge victorious several times, first against Dr. Wily and then against some other doctors. And that doesn't even include what prophecies lie in the Playstation, Sega Saturn (what?), Game Boy, and Super Nintendo installments of Megaman... perhaps a new soccer league?

And if Megaman 6's intro is of any indication, we're gonna get to see some type of robot Gathering some time this century! Woo! I can't wait.

I wonder what other futuristic video games say about the years following Y2K. I'm sure a lot of the games' developers predicted that we'd be colonizing space by now, and then some hero will emerge to take out the evil genius by hoping over obstacles and collecting hearts or some shit while moving through a 2-D environment. In the future, I hope that if such a post-apocalyptic space odyssey does occur, the land won't be riddled with a bunch of drones that can only jump in place while firing one white bullet of energy at a time. It seems like a waste of the bad guy's time and money if the soon-to-be hero space ranger guy can take the fucker out with a couple shots from his or her weak weapon of infinite ammunition. Boom. There goes a few million dollars. Next? Hey, another one...

Perhaps I'm looking too deep into this. After all, it's all fiction and made for entertainment. But hey, I'm bored and I needed something to blab about. Heh. Suckage
For those of you who bathe, this may or may not have happened to you: You're lathering up your hair with your choice of shampoo, and then you carelessly wash the excess shampoo off your hands, and then BAM! Herpes. Ok, maybe not, but what's arguably equally painful is rubbing your eyes when you still have a little bit of shampoo or soap on your hands. There's no amount of water you could use to flush your eye out that will make the dryness and burning go away for the next 10-15 minutes.

And if you do go through soap more often than say, a bar a semester, this may have also happened to you: You get in the shower only to realize there is no bar of soap at your disposal. This gives you two options: get out of the shower and retrieve a bar of soap from the bathroom closet or wherever, creating puddles of water all over the floor and exposing you to the cold tiled floor. Or, you could use the liquid soap shit that hides in one of the corners of the tub. Of course, any man with any self-respect would rather go soap-less than use the lilac-scented bottle of femininity. Dilemmas, dilemmas. I wanted to post some links too...
But first, let me tell everyone that I now have 250 GB of hard drive space. That's a quarter of a terabyte! I rock!

First link: Bill Gates, actor.

Second link: the Nick Sordillo Random Quote Generator. You don't even need to know Sordillo to appreciate this. Thanks to gmudrip. (With honorable mention to malloc3, 30 Degrees Oh Yeah, and That Girl).

Linko numero three-o: Compare hard drives and such. Thanks to sortajake.

#4: CHodges' site, Krasnii. Check out the DVD database. Yes he owns that many.

Cinco: I sincerely doubt that Saddam Hussein allows email in his country, much less knows English. I could be wrong. Its never happened before, mind you, but its a possibility.

Link 6: If they think its bad in Afghanistan, they should try RPI sometime. Linkage
My left computer speaker isn't working. I'm not sure why this is. It was working fine a couple hours ago. Damnit. I must have some weird compatibility issues going on with my sound card or something, 'cause my sound is always screwed up in one way or another since the dawn of time. Hum. Too bad I don't care enough to try and alleviate the situation.

* I have no idea what "Energie Cottbus" is, but it's good to see that people are playing it in defense of their respective town's whores.
* Sometimes, your chances are equal to finding a needle in a haystack. Sometimes, it pays off to check your ass first.
* "Kraut" isn't a racist term. I never considered it to be, but I haven't really asked my German ICQ buddy about it. Then again, I don't really care enough to find out. And now I'm just rambling on and on like a tube steak.
* Hey! Computer-using guys are more likely to do it! Unless, of course, you play computer games. Because "With the Wood" is a queer name
If you're reaching this site using the Geocities URL instead of the drive.to URL, you may have noticed that the title bar has been different every day since, oh I don't know... three or four weeks now. Today's is probably my favorite, albeit not synonymous with AtG. Music News
Well the unthinkable has happened. Actually its not all that unthinkable, since people have been predicting this for about 6 years.

This just in: Snoop Dogg smokes marijuana. Well this is news to me. (Sarcasm)

And something that happened 8 days ago that I never heard about. Looks like Limp Bizkit will be looking for a new member. Game 3: Mariners at Yankees
Went to the game on Saturday, here's the story:
It was my first playoff game, and also my first game at Yankee Stadium, but I didn't even know I was going until 12:30 PM.

Mike called at precisely 12:30 like he said he was going to. I showered, dressed, walked to the train station to catch the 1PM from New Rochelle to Grand Central Station. Its quicker for me to get to the park if I go from New Rochelle to 125th St. Station (Harlem), and then the D train from 125th St. to the Bronx, but my friends were at Grand Central, since they had been in the city already during the day. (Grand Central is just one more stop down from Harlem on the Metro North).

Anyways, I meet the guys Mike (aka Michael Melvin Forman, aka Eddie Munster, aka Melvin, aka MM, aka Butthead), Casey (aka Casey Hodges, aka who are you again?, aka Mr. Civic, aka CHodges, aka Beavis) and Matt (aka Matt Wilson, aka Wilson!, aka oh Mr. Wilsonnnnnnnnnn!) at GC, and after a quick stop at the ATM machine, we go to lunch at this little corner pizza place on the lower level of GC. It had great pizza, but was expensive, as my medium soda and 2 slices came to a whopping $8.60. (Makes me yearn for the days of $2.50 for 2 slices and a soda at Gino's on 4th in Troy). Just remember that everything is jacked up in New York, and you're ready to do business.

After eating we wandered around Grand Central, until we decided to hit the subway to the game. So as of yet, I still have not set foot outside in Manhattan since I moved to the area. I guess that makes me wicked cool. I bought a Metro Card which is a credit card for riding the subway system in NYC, and we boarded a D train that would take us north to the Bronx, and right to Yankee Stadium at 157th St.

The first stop we came to from Grand Central (50th St.) was the 59th St. station. As we were pulling to a stop, me and my friend from work look up to see staring in the window, a very familiar face if you know your movies or even if you are a Knicks fan: Spike Lee! Yes it was really him, and we were dumbfouded as he got on the train and stood right next to us. He definitely was trying to be covert, and didn't want to cause a disturbance, so we didn't ask for his autograph or anything, (or even talk to him for that matter), but we did give him the smile and nod, and he nodded back. It was cool, and it was my first celebrity sighting since coming to the 'Big City'^TM. So anyways, he rode the train all the way to the stadium with us, verynon-chalant, most people not even recognizing him, or not noticing him. A few guys as they would get on or off would go 'hey its Spike Lee' or whatever, but for the most part he was pretty anonymous. Its really cool to see celebrities that are still down to earth, and aren't afraid to be in public spaces. He didn't even have anyone with him!

So anyway, we finally get to the stadium, and we have to wait outside for my friend Mike's Aunt and Uncle to show up. We were treated to a plethora of exciting smells during this time: roasting peanuts and sausages outside the park, raw sewerage climbing up from underground, burning grease from a sausage cart where grease had accidentally spilled onto the coals, raw sewage from Hudson Bay, back alley piss, horse shit from the police horses, and more sauages. We meet MM's (Michael Melvin's) aunt and uncle, and proceed inside. The only problem to this is, they won't let Beavis and Butthead inside with their bags that they had from their language classes earlier in the day at NYU. So we bring their bags to Melvin's aunt and uncle's car, all the while talking about how exciting it was to see Spike Lee. I felt bad for MM, since he didn't actually see Spike Lee. I had tried to say something to him on the train, but I said it quitely so as not to bring down the wrath of Mars Blackmon, and because of a miscommunication, I thought he knew El Spiko was on the train when he really didn't. But he did see him on the way out of the train. Spike Lee was a general topic of conversation the rest of the day, and I can foresee more of the same when we all get back to work on monday and tell our co-workers.

OK, so once we clear up the bag situation, we get back to the stadium, and its such a beautiful day! 70 degrees farenheit at game time. We were there at least 45 minutes early, and both teams are still doing batting practice and whatnot. Our seats are in left field, third deck, hanging over the field, about 10 rows from the top of the stadium. At $50, still well worth it for my first playoff game, even if I do HATE the Yankees. Meeting us at the game is my brand new manager, Jim (aka Jim Valentino, aka Jimmy Vee, aka the Big V), and my old manager, but still my manager, but also Jimmy V's manager (as well as MM's manager, and CHodges' manager) Cris (aka Cristian Perez, aka El Perez, aka Master of the Universe). I sat with Melvin and his aunt and uncle, while the other 4 sat two rows in front of us.

At the start of the game, they announced to a chorus of boos that Michael Bolton! would sing the National Anthem. Interesting side note, according to VH1, Michael Bolton started out his muscial career as a singer for a metal band. I guess that was before he became a no-talent-ass-clown.

What was really neat was that during the anthem, they had an army color guard from a currently 'active' division (that means that some members of their division are in Afghanistan right now saving your ass) march in and hold aloft this incredibly huge US Flag. The flag easily covered one third of the outfield space, which I would guess would make the flag about an acre in area. At the end of the anthem, a bald eagle was flown from the bleachers in centerfield to the pitcher's mound. An annoucer made a special note that the eagle could not be released in the wild because it would not know how to survive, in case there was any of those extremely left, crazy PETA people in the audience. (I can say this since one of my best friends works for PETA, and he enjoys a little bit of ribbing now and then. And so does his mom, and I'm more than happy to oblige her as well ;). My friend is mentioned in that article that I just linked to.

Anyways, after all the pomp and circumstance, the game got underway, and it was a good game at first, two good pitching matchups for a few innings, Orlando Hernandez, and Jaime Moyer. Some good defensive plays in the first few innings by Stan Javier and Derek Jeter. Until the fourth when it all unravelled for the Yanks. Chuck Knoblauch didn't make what would have been an incredible catch in leftfield that led to 2 Mariners runs, and then in the fifth, the floodgates just opened. The fans were second guessing every call, and every move by Joe Torre. Mike Stanton threw away a ball on abunt that would have eliminated the lead runner, but instead let in two more runs, and then Mark McClemore hit a huge triple after an intentional walk to Ichiro, who is so incredibly fast as to be unbelieveable. He was standing on home plate as McClemore, no slouch when it comes to running, was rounding second.

Speaking of Ichiro, I was completely shocked by the behavior of the fans up in the leftfield grandstand. You should have heard some of the terrible racist things they were saying, including at one point a chant of 'slant, slant, slant...'. Oh my god. There was this little Asian Girl, couldn't have been more than 10, who had 2 signs, an Ichiro sign and a Mariners sign, and some big dumb drunk fuck grabbed both signs and ripped them up and made the girl cry. Then he laughed. It took the stadium security about .3 seconds to throw that guy out. Whew.

Anyways, by the time the 7th inning rolled around, at least half of the Yankees fans had left since they are poor losers, which comes from having 3 straight world series bought for them and handed straight to them, like a spoiled rich roommate whose parents do his laundry. So we decided to get out of our east bumb fuck seats and get down to the box seats. (By that time, it was just Beavis and Butthead, and Butthead's aunt and Uncle and me left). It was cool, we watched the last 2 innings from the field level seats, second tier. They won't let you into the first tier unless you have tickets for there, no matter how many empty seats there are. We watched as some drunk kids tried to break this rule repeatedly, only to be reprimanded. After their third time of getting pushed out of those seats, they started talking shit with the usher who guarded the path, and were promptly thrown out, among a chorus of cheers.

At the end of the game, we were able to get onto a nearly empty subway car, since a good portion of the fans had left WAY before us, added to the fact that we had to walk to the parking garage to get Beavis and Butthead's bags, and then walk back to the subway station. As we 3 sat for a few minutes waiting for the subway to fill up a little, we looked at the Metro North train scheduled and realized we would have a leeway of about 3 minutes fromt the time our subway train reached 125th St. to walk up three flights from the subway station, and one block on the street in the middle of Harlem and up one flight of stairs to the elevated Metro North train station at 125th St, or else we'd have to wait an hour in the middle of Harlem at night. So we pulled into Harlem D Station, and ran as fast as our slowest member (me) could run up the three flights in the subway to street level (I finally made it outdoors in Manahattan, if only for a few minutes). Ran down the block, 3 Crackers in the middle of Harlem, and up the stairs of the Metro North, able to just barely get on the train in time for the 35 minute trip back to New Rochelle. Since Beavis and Butthead were going to Stamford, they were eligible to wait for an express, and probably got into Stamford at about the time I was getting into New Rochelle, even though Stamford is a 30 minute train ride from New Rochelle on a non express train.

So that's my story. I must say I had a really great time. I relly liked being in Yankee stadium, and some of the atmosphere outside before the game (though not necesarily the smells). Even though Ihad to put up with the smelly, racist, inbred, halfwit Yankee fans, it was a worthwhile experience. In fact, I liked it so much, I am going again on monday night, for game 5. Hell, if the Yankees get to the World Series (and that's a big IF ;) I might even take in a game then. Which would be totally cool. You might be able to expect another report on monday nights game, especially since this time, I am bringing my camera.

Love,
-Jonathan

PS: sorry this is so long. I need a program...
... that can edit movie files. I have some Family Guy episodes that the audio isn't synched up with the video. Hook me up.

Go Patriots.
Go Vikings. "What? I said..."
I was flipping through the channels this afternoon and I ended up watching the end of Nash Bridges. In it, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin played an undercover cop at some bad guy's outdoor wedding. It was kinda neat to watch him foxtrot with some other undercover chick, but it would have been even cooler if he was saying the things he says in the ring, like "What? You make me sick! What?"

Speaking of which, I'm picking Stone Cold to pin RVD to retain the title. This was my guess for a while, but with the return of Vincie Mac seemingly backing RVD, I'm wondering what role that may have in this Sunday's Pay-Per-View.

Also, I'm picking the Rock to defeat Jericho to retain his title. I don't see Jericho pulling off the upset, even though they keep hinting that Jericho may end his "chocking in the big match" streak.

By making these picks, though, I'm saying that the biggest prizes in the game aren't gonna change hands. Seems kinda unlikely in a PPV.

In unrelated news, could this be the future of clubbing? It seems like a neat idea, but... eh... it seems a little too voyeuristic. It's kinda hard to work up the nerves to say hi to some girlie girl when there's a chance someone (her?) has a camera on you while you're adjusting your crotch or something. Heh.

And... that's all I got right now. "What the deuce? Blast!"
Meow.

I was watching CNN Headline News some time last night, and I heard something about how Internet taxation was going to be a reality some time soon. I did a little soul searching at the CNN site, and I found this article. So now I'm not sure if that means that e-commerce sites like Amazon and Yahoo are gonna have to pay taxes for each internet sale they make, or if that means that there's gonna be an internet sales tax of some sort, probably an amount determined by the state. Or maybe it will be both; the former leading into the latter.

That's what this economic recession needs: more taxes. :p Here's an interesting article...
About data security on hard drives, and how if you think you erased something, chances are that you can recover it, even if it as been written over. But of course everything costs something, so you might have to pay a little.

And here's some stuff regarding Windows XP, available on thursday the 26th of October:

* A contest to win money towards a PC every three years for the rest of your life.

* A site dedicated tweaking Windows XP. (And the first thing on the list is how to uninstall Windows Messenger. A must see tip!). Also with any luck, Windows XP Power Toys (TweakUI in previous versions of Windows) will allow even more customizations.

I have been a WinXP tester as part of Microsoft's Release Candidate program. I must say, I have really enjoyed using the two Release Candidate's that I've used, and look forward to the real release, (though I refuse to pay $300 for it, but I've got that worked out ;). I have heard mostly good things about WinXP, aside from the new Windows Product Activation, otherwise I would try to provide you with some links that give a negative perspective. I think savvy, unscrupulous people like me might be able to find a way around WPA anyways. ;-) Pic backlash and American propaganda
Looks like some people that saw that pic in the post below weren't too happy about it. It's anti-homosexual, after all. Personally, I think the Navy should try and take the same stance with the word "fag" as Eminem does.

Naval Lieutenant: Airman Davis! What are you writting on that bomb you'll be using to blow up the "top secret" stronghold of the cockroach-like Taliban?
Airman Davis: I'm letting know that they are fags, Sir!
Naval Lieutenant: By writting that, you're spitting on all of the American people in such fine organizations like the GLBA and NAMBLA!
Airman Davis: No, Sir! As Eminem has said, the most degrading thing that you can say to a man when you're battling him is call him a faggot and try to take away his manhood. Call him a sissy, call him a punk. "Faggot" doesn't necessarily mean gay people. "Faggot" to me just means taking away your manhood. You're a sissy. You're a coward. Just like you might sit around in your living room and say, "Dude, stop, you're being a fag, dude." This does not necessarily mean you're being a gay person. It just means you're being a fag. You're being an asshole or whatever.
Naval Lieutenant: Oh, ok then. Carry on! I'll be sure to notify the easily-offended gay folks back home.
Airman Davis: Besides, it wasn't me. Slim Shady said to do it again.

I'm telling ya, that's all they have to do. Blame it on those damn children and their music.

Oh, and how about the piece about American propaganda? Yeah. Resistance is futile:

"Our forces are armed with state of the art military equipment. What are you using, obsolete and ineffective weaponry? Our helicopters will rain fire down upon your camps before you detect them on your radar. Our bombs are so accurate we can drop them right through your windows."

Just bring it. Elect Maria McHugh
For County Legislator.

I got this large post card in the mail today, very high quality advertising, with glossy phots of Maria McHugh, her family, and in the background, an American flag. Here's what it read:

Dear Neighbor,

Several months ago my husband Michael and I began his campaign for County Legislator to represent Eastchester, Tuckahoe and New Rochelle.

Our plans came to a sudden halt the morning of September 11th when Michael didn't come home from his office at the World Trade Center.

Since then I have received overwhelming support from the community. Your united voice has inspired me to stand strong and move forward.

Michael can no longer appear on the ballot for County Legislature on November 6th, but I can. In fact, given that this was an attack on our democracy and way of life, it is essential that we don't allow this act of cowardice to rob you of the right to make a choice on Election Day.

I have lived in this community all my life. I was raised in Eastchester and attended college at Iona in New Rochelle. Until three years ago I worked in the marketing department of Sybase Inc. in New York City. Since then I have been taking care of my children, Michael III, Christian and Connor.

I've been active in the community, whether as a class mother and member of the PTA, or as a charity event coordinator. I hope to bring my experience as a parent and taxpayer to the County Legislature.

Life won't be normal for any of us for a very long time, but we must try. For me that means continuing the plans the Michael and I worked so hard on, as well as learning from our experience.

I want to see that our County Government is doing all it can to protect us against future acts of terrorism. We need assurances that Indian Point, our water supply, our trains, and other potential targets are well protected.

I want every parent to know that their children are safe when they send them to school, and that we have adequate plans for every school building in case the worst should happen.

There's a job to be done, and I want to do it.

Sincerely,
Maria McHugh

I just thought this was somewhat odd. The picture of her on the post card is quite weird, since she has a huge smile. HUGE. And she's smiling even though her husband died like a month ago, and she has to raise three kids by herself with no job. I wish her the best, but I'm not voting for her. Frankly, the county government is such an outdated form of government. Its just more red tape, which is why they abolished counties altogether in Massachusetts. Way to go. Also, it must have cost quite a fortune to send out these post cards, because they are so nice, and she obviously mailed one to everyone in the county district, which is probably half a million people. Even at $.50 a pop including postage, that's still $250,000. So you can see, this is all quite absurd. Its unfortunate that her husband died, but she really shouldn't use that platform to run for county government. This has to be the most amusing pic...
... related to the war against terrorism that has been released so far.

Check it out. Nerd stuff, but not MIT nerdy.
I actually found an article that has nothing to do with terrorism or Anthrax! Well, maybe there are some exceptions in the oh-so-subtle links I placed in this sentence and the previous sentence, but that's ok. Because you can use a Playstation controller with your PC.

The Playstation controller is probably the best input device ever created for a gaming console. It makes you wonder what the hell those people at Nintendo were thinkin' when they released their POS Ultra 64. OK, that was a dumb comparison.

Now all I need is a Playstation controller and I'm set for some intense gaming! Yay! Except I have no games that would benefit from using a joystick instead of the keyboard and/or mouse. Blast! Oh well. Some day...

And if you are dying for another terrorism or Anthrax story, you can try and figure out how those two infected guys in Florida expect to sue Bin Laden. I don't see how that would work. Last time I checked, suing the opposing party who also happens to be at war with you is fruitless. I don't see any Taliban people suing the American Air Force for blowing up everything they own. Why not? Because instead of giving them money for reparations, we'd just drop even more bombs on their heads. Heh. Likewise, expecting to get money because of the Anthrax "attacks," attacks we still don't know who is responsible for, will probably just lead to even more white powder being found in first class mail.

I stole a pair of articles from Running Red Lights. Some others came from MeFi. Old School

Keith: jonathan
Me: keith
Keith: excellent
Me: exquisite
Keith: you are fantastically correct sir
Me: thank you sir
Keith: i wish you the best, and to you, a good day
Me: and I also
Keith: lovely...a true gentleman, you are
Me: likewise my esteemed friend
Keith: tah - tah
Me: cheerio

Dear Angelfire (again),

If you reply to my question, it would be most appreciated if you actually read my question first.

I did not ask about login problems.
I did not ask about lost password problems.
I did not ask about a question about multiple accounts.

All I wish to know is how much bandwidth your typical free Angelfire is allotted each month.
Bonus points may be awarded if you can tell me how much extra bandwidth one could get for a free Angelfire site and for how much.

If you don't have an answer, a simple "I don't know" would do.

Sorry if I sound like a jerk. I'm just very unimpressed with the response, especially since it's totally irrelevant.

J.G.

Hello,

Thanks for contacting us.

Angelfire would like to thank you for your suggestion. All suggestions are gathered by our production department and reviewed for possible changes to the site. Most changes made to our site originate from a member's suggestion. Thanks again!

Sincerely,

Karen

Product Support Specialist
Lycos Personal Publishing
http://help.lycos.com

Aw, forget it. Stupid orangutan. How do you know if someone is in the bathroom?
Well, if you lived at Random Hall at MIT, you could check the Random Hall Bathroom Server (bathroom.mit.edu). You'd also be in line for the coveted title 'Nerdiest person in America' because you'd be one of 93 students living in the nerdiest dorm in the nerdiest school in the nation.

Jeez, can't you just knock, you pervert?

You may also want to scope out the laundry server, which is an infinitely better idea.

Thanks be to House What's the difference between Christmas and Afghanistan?
Give up?

By December, Christmas will be here. This Just In...
I really hate the Yankees, but this is pretty interesting: Derek Jeter is 27 and already has the career record for postseason hits with 87. A Special Note From Miss Cleo

I'm so very happy I am able to contact you.
My name is Cleo, and I am a Master Tarot Psychic. I had an exciting dream last night that could affect the rest of your life!

I was so moved by the dream, that I shared this with my psychic associates. With this knowledge our prediction powers have been heightened. I am asking you to call immediately and, if I am not available, you must speak to one of my gifted Tarot readers who will know how to use this knowledge to immediately change your future. It could be that exciting.
Please call right now:

1-800-360-7923. This call is absolutely FREE.

THERE IS NO RISK AND NO OBLIGATION AT ALL.
I can't tell you too much here, but I will say that the experience will amaze you as much as it did me. There may be many wonderful things coming into your life very soon, in fact maybe in the next 10-14 days. You could be one very lucky person.
It's not often that I get overwhelmed, especially through a dream, at the prospects of good fortune for people. So you can see why I am overjoyed about what the future holds for you. Your life may drastically change for the better. Please call 1-800-360-7923 right now so I can share this joy with you.
BECAUSE I WANT THE BEST FOR YOU, I HAVE GONE AHEAD AND SET UP A FREE TRIAL READING WHEN YOU CALL.
Remember, this call is free and so is your free trial reading.

With Love and Hope,

Wow.... I can't believe Miss Cleo (or associate) has a special dream based tarot reading about my future! I can't wait to haer it! And best of all, its free! RPG Clichés
Console role playing games tend to be pretty fun. Story lines are usually rather creative, and there are several twists and turns from the first minute of the game until you beat the game. However, a lot of fall for the same classic blunders and template:

-- Every character is between the age of 16-18. The older (25+ year old) characters, who one would assume should be more experienced and more powerful than the teen characters, have no problem yeilding to the ways of the younger "main hero" character.
-- The hero character always out-damages everyone else.
-- The hero's archnemesis always turns out to be the hero's father or brother.
-- "All or nothing" spells (like charm, petrification, and instant death) cast by your characters will never work. "All or nothing" spells cast by monsters and bosses will always work.
-- The hero will always use a sword.
-- If the game's setting is a world that has guns, characters using them won't do any more damage (in fact, usually less damage) than a character who uses a melee weapon.
-- If the hero is a male, all of the playable female characters will fall in love with him at some point in the game.
-- Talking to everyone in town will always point you to where you have to go next.

And so on.

If you're bored, you can check out more than a hundred other RPG clichés by clicking on this link. Dear Angelfire,

Hello.

I was just curious as to what your typical everyday Angelfire website's allotted monthly [data] transfer is..

Also, what would the rates be for additional data transference be?.

Thanks,.

J.G.

I got a response today, five days later:

Hello,

Thanks for contacting us.

If you are having trouble logging in to your Angelfire account, there are several possible issues. Please read below for further information.

1. If you can not remember your Lycos Member name, try entering your Angelfire Directory Name in the "Member Name" field on our new Log In page. In most cases, this will work.

We would also suggest that you verify that you are using your correct password. If you are having trouble logging in with your directory name, please use the "Lost Password" on our Log In page to have your password sent to the e-mail address you registered with.

Please reply to this message if you have tried using your Angelfire Directory name to log in, and you're still unable to access your account using the correct password.

You may be asked for some additional information when you log in to your account. We are updating some of our registration records, so do not be concerned if you are asked for this additional information. Once you have completed our secondary form, you will be logged in to your account as usual.

2. If you continue to get an error message when you try logging in, your browser may have cached an incorrect cookie. To clear the cookie, try clicking on this link:

http://www.angelfire.com/auth/logout

Once you have done so, try logging in again. If you continue to receive an error message, please reply to this message. Remember to include the error message in your e-mail.

3. If you have multiple accounts, or if you use a shared computer, please remember to use the "Log Out" button at the end of each editing session. People who have multiple accounts and people who use shared computers should avoid selecting the "Save Member Name & Password" checkbox option on our new Log In page.

If your question is regarding a different issue, please refer to our new and improved help section to see if we have answered it online. You can find our new help section at the following URL:

http://help.angelfire.com

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Karen

Umm... consider me unimpressed with the response. If you read carefully (or carelessly, whatever), you might notice that the answer Karen gave me wasn't even for my question. I know that my original email is very hard to follow and involves big words like "transference," but I also thought that Karen was a paid worker for Angelfire and could answer my question, not an orangutan that got distracted because another monkey threw feces at her.

I wrote back. I'll post that email and my future Angelfire response (if I get one) at a later date. Sorry, I don't have a witty title.
It's kinda hard to find something good to read on the 'net when the only two topics in current news is about the bombings in Afghanistan and the several Antharax cases and hoaxes going on internally in this fine country of ours. I can't even download a sitcom episode without a Bin Laden reference, either! I spent four hours (four hours!) this afternoon downloading a Family Guy episode I have never seen before (2x13 - The Road to Rhode Island), an episode where Stewie goes to Palm Beach to visit his grandparents and then Brian goes to bring him back home. Of course, crazy shit happens along the way, both with Brian and Stewie and the sub-story between Peter and Lois. But anyways, Brian and Stewie go to the airport to board their plane, and it was time for Stewie's backpack to get X-rayed. He sings part of "The Good Ship Lollipop" in order to distract the X-Ray tenants from his backpack full of handgrenades and machine guns. He succeeds at his task, and he says to himself "God I hope Osama Bin Laden doesn't know Show Tunes." Then it shows Mr. Taliban pulling a similar stunt as Stewie saying some lines from something. Probably Show Tunes, I presume.

At least it isn't a recent episode. But it does seem kinda ironic, even Nostradamus-like. Freaky.

Some good football games were on today. There were no blow-outs. In fact, there was no definite winners until the game was over. Some were even worth watching all the way through, like the Patriots and Chargers one. At least that was the case with the the 1 PM games. I don't know how the 4 PM games turned out. Crossfire
If you already have the Osama skin to frag infinitely, there's a George W. Bush skin you can use to kill all of the people using the Osama skin. Woo. And how convenient! Both are available on the same page!

Hey, I guess Iraq is behind the Anthrax attacks. Too bad I haven't seen this story behing reported by Tom Brokaw or on CNN Headline News, thereby making me question its validity.

In unrelated news, I was wondering if more than three people could fill out the damn survey. It would make me feel like something I was doing wasn't that much of a wasted effort, y'know? Jerome,
Me and Josh agree, you should hurry up and post something, you fucking lazy bastard. Roman Orgy
Here's a conversation with me and Josh. Keep in mind that Josh has 2 broken ribs, and he is going to write a story about that which I will post later.

Josh: listen to how gay I am, I took a bath yesterday
Josh: because the hot water helped my ribs like 100%
Josh: but it is still gay
Me: wow, nice.
Me: nah, not gay
Me: did you wash the tub first though?
Josh: yes. i didnt have any bubble bath or bath oils and shit so i think that made it less gay
Me: hee hee. there's nothing gay about taking a bath dude, don't sweat it
Josh: oh there is everything gay about it
Me: unless you take a bath with another guy, like in ancient roman times
Josh: i even came out oif the closet to the people on my DMS group in an effort to confront my demons
Josh: speaking of which, I was thinking you and me could have an ancient roman party saturday ;-)
Me: HAHAHAH
Me: guess what?
Me: you just made the pages of against the grain

Here. Take it. Read it. Love it.
I kinda promised some more random links earlier. Maybe I should be a man and stick with my word. Last thing I need is some of you visitors coming over my house and beating me to an oblivion because I didn't post any links. And the fact that I don't have Black and White. Heh. I haven't been harassed about that for a while. Oh yeah, I'm never online, so it's kinda hard to be harassed. I should probably respond to all of the email I've managed to amass over the past couple weeks, too. God damnit, I need a secretary. Any takers? Requirements include being single, female, and very appealing to the eye. You don't need to know how to run my mother's fax machine if you dress provocatively, too.

But anyways...

I saw Dr. Whackjob's son some time earlier this week, and I finally learned the name of the damn technique they use to pinpoint which organ is misbehaving and which ones are ok. It's called contact reflex analysis (CRA for short) and it's a shady diagnosis tool used by those into acupuncture, chiropractics, and/or alternative medicine.

Here's a link that says CRA is really awesome.
Here's a link that says CRA is pretty cool, but it's not really a "be all and end all."
Here's a link that says CRA is full of shit. Check out some of Versendaal's statements.

I think CRA is somewhere between that middle and last link in terms of accuracy and validity. It's just fucking bizarre. It also doesn't make any sense if it's true. I'm still under the impression that the practitioners are running some sort of scam, although I do seem to be doing better.

Well, those weren't really stories per se, but these ones are:

* I have a snake, Man. Now I can't find my dog...
* If you plan on getting one of them fancy new gaming consoles, I suggest you go for the Playstation 2. Why? Because Square is owned largely in part by Sony. Square = best RPG makers ever.
* Civilization III is coming, Bitch! It should be on store shelves by October 30. Now I may have a reason to be at my computer again. I also predict many wasted weekends playing this game online with my brothas if I choose to go out and pick up the game.
* Hey! A FAQ about Anthrax! Even the educated may learn a little something about the virulence.

There. Happy now? Jerk. Retirement Account Update
Here's a new feature at Against the Grain, my Retirement Account Update. It will appear at unregular intervals. (Basically when I remember or have the desire to write about it).

So here it is, in all its glory:

401K Plan Retirement
Contributions ($) $592.31
Total Account Value $592.31

Employee Stock Purchase Plan
FDS Factset Research Systems Inc. $26.70 $0.83 12 $320.40 $61.83
Contributions ($) $414.53
Total Account Value $734.93 $61.83

Investments to Watch
Total Account Value
Grand Total $1,327.24 $61.83

So if I were to retire today, I would be the proud owner of $414.53 in cash, $320.40 in FDS stock, (a whopping 12 shares!) and $592.31 in my 401K which is divided among 11 mutual funds. Bert is still Evil
In my youth, tales of regale were told of a website of astounding character, beauty, and mythos. It was the stuff of legend, the choice of a new generation. The website: Bert Is Evil. A veritable zenith of mid 90's website creation. It belongs right up there in the Website Hall Of Fame^TM with HampsterDance, WWWF Grudge Match, and Mahir (I Kiss You!). But alas, the site's glory days have faded, and have become the stuff of campfire tales, a mere 3 years later.

Unfortunately, the memory of Evil Bert has lived on. Not unfortunate that the memory lives on, just unfortunate those who remember him are also evil. Thanks to Matt. (Matt is not evil, from what we hear). This is insane.
Except for your brain cells, 50,000,000 of the cells in your body will have died and been replaced with others, all while you have been reading this sentence.

That's a lot of friggin' cells! Yeah.
I might as well make a post before the day's over, I guess, just for the sake of keeping my normal posting tradition that I often end up breaking. But I guess that's understandably so. It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care. Hehe.

Today was my first day off in like a week; Staples is trying to get every hour out of me they can knowing that my two weeks' notice is just about up. The managers there were trying to make me stay by telling me all of the cool incentives of working in the business machines (aka "electronics") department, like for each extended warranty plan I sell, I pocket like $5. And if I sell a cell phone, I get 5% or 10% of its price added onto my pay for that week. And if I install a hard drive on some guy's computer, I get $14 for it. So, over time, they can add up to some serious money. There's this one dude at work who is insane about the whole thing, and he makes about an extra $500 a month just for convincing others to get a warranty on their new phone and stuff. Not bad.

Unfortunately, I don't want to be a someone who pushes a customer to buy a more expensive product that I'd get some commission for selling when a cheapo similar product is good enough for the customer's intended use. There's something wrong with conducting that sort of business, in my opinion.

Also, how many cell phones and "printer accessory kits" are sold a week at Staples? Since I've been the chief cashier guy for the past three weeks, and since about 90% of all purchases check out through me when I'm working, I didn't ring up any such devices. About five items came to me in three weeks that required SPIF's (sales performance incentive funds, aka "the extra money you get for selling certain things"). Maybe it's just the slow time of the year, but that doesn't seem like too much extra money, especially since all of the items weren't sold by the same guy. There are usually two or three guys in the electronics department at any given time. Given that, I would rather have my base rate of pay and my hours increased by about 25%, 'cause I can't rely on something as fickle as SPIF sales to catapult me out of my house and into the real world. But the guy responsible for base pay rates is out on vacation for a while, and I don't intend to stay around long enough for him to come back.

Staples lacks a chief techie, so should I have stayed, I might have ended up being the guy who went to people's houses and installed network cards and whatnot. That would have been cool. Too bad I don't want to work for peanuts.

I think after I'm through at Staples, I may take some time off and see if the dude in charge of pay rates wants to give me some highly deserved money. If so, I may go back, since I'm sure I have paid my dues running a friggin' register for three or four ghastly weeks. It's time for me to move onto better things, like making $14 per hard drive installation. If I end up going back, I hope I don't end up being one of the guys that tries to convince people which products to buy in order to help me cover my gas and lunch expenses.

Oh, and speaking of registers: yesterday, the one I was using froze up on me. It was cool. There were lots of people that had to check out and I had to disperse them to the customer service desk and get a manager to get a temp register up and running for the other half of the customers. Then I got to wait five minutes for the register to reboot (they're computerized if you couldn't tell). Woo. And in case you're curious, it looks like the registers are running Windows NT 4.0 SP 5 (I think) and they have 64 MB of memory.

That's all I got for now. I have a couple story links to share, too, but I wanna finish some G work I'm doing. Sorry, publishing is temporarily unavailable. (Will be available in 13 minutes.)
We'll see about that, Blogger. Size Matters
Well, this is quite a heartwarming article, becuase the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, spiritual advisor of George Harrison has decided to continue with plans to build the world's tallest building, a pyramid, that will be twice the size of the shorter of the two world trade center buildings, and will be 48% taller than the world's current tallest buildings, the Petronas Towers. What will a building like this be used for, you ask? Why to generate world peace of course. Each of the 144 floors will be used for Vedic mantras and chants of over 100,000 Hindu priests, similar to the song below:

George Harrison - My Sweet Lord
My sweet lord
Hm, my lord
Hm, my lord

I really want to see you
Really want to be with you
Really want to see you lord
But it takes so long, my lord

My sweet lord
Hm, my lord
Hm, my lord

I really want to know you
Really want to go with you
Really want to show you lord
That it won't take long, my lord (hallelujah)

My sweet lord (hallelujah)
Hm, my lord (hallelujah)
My sweet lord (hallelujah)

I really want to see you
Really want to see you
Really want to see you, lord
Really want to see you, lord
But it takes so long, my lord (hallelujah)

My sweet lord (hallelujah)
Hm, my lord (hallelujah)
My, my, my lord (hallelujah)

I really want to know you (hallelujah)
Really want to go with you (hallelujah)
Really want to show you lord (aaah)
That it won't take long, my lord (hallelujah)

Hmm (hallelujah)
My sweet lord (hallelujah)
My, my, lord (hallelujah)

Hm, my lord (hare krishna)
My, my, my lord (hare krishna)
Oh hm, my sweet lord (krishna, krishna)
Oh-uuh-uh (hare hare)

Now, I really want to see you (hare rama)
Really want to be with you (hare rama)
Really want to see you lord (aaah)
But it takes so long, my lord (hallelujah)

Hm, my lord (hallelujah)
My, my, my lord (hare krishna)
My sweet lord (hare krishna)
My sweet lord (krishna krishna)
My lord (hare hare)
Hm, hm (Gurur Brahma)
Hm, hm (Gurur Vishnu)
Hm, hm (Gurur Devo)
Hm, hm (Maheshwara)
My sweet lord (Gurur Sakshaat)
My sweet lord (Parabrahma)
My, my, my lord (Tasmayi Shree)
My, my, my, my lord (Guruve Namah)
My sweet lord (Hare Rama)

"Hi, I'd like a glazed donut to go, please."
In case you're tired of going through the Burger King drive-thru getting the same food you do every night after your late shift, perhaps you want to try one of Germany's new drive-thrus. Then you can go home to your wife and kids with a smile on your face.

And in case you were wondering about the glazed donut remark... This is the Food and Drug Administration
Read all about Anthrax, and how it is 'a perfect biological weapon.' They haven't smelled my farts.

Egyptian protestors say: 'Bush Bush, you mean man, the blood of Muslims is not cheap.' A protestor apparently said 'Bush says bad awful things on the airwaves. And he says them about me and my family and I find that very abusive. Sir. Sir, please help me with this. He said he was gonna go fishin' with me, and he whipped me with the rods. And he hurt me in more awful ways. He stuffed a handful of worms in my face and he made me eat worms and he beat me so unmerciful with the rod I had stitches about my face. And I think he should be pulled off the air.

Rush Limbaugh is deaf. Or has he turned a deaf ear to opinions that are not his own? Ooh, I'm quick with the wit. The article also says Howard Stern is blind, but I think that's just from the whackin'.

Here is a website that a couple of my friends will be writing for. You'll have to bookmark it, since there is no content yet. http://www.eastcoastweb.iwarp.com. Good luck Joe and company.

Just for kicks, here is a friend of mine who has a problem. And not just with booze. Cheers to you.

**Update: he wanted me to post this picture of him instead.

I'm going to pimp my car out at autotoys.com. Thanks to Fran.

The next three links come from Metafilter, which you can find linked at the left there <--. The A List

The Ig Nobel prize winners of 2001. This is not a prestigious award, and yet most of the 'winners' showed up and gave an acceptance speech.

Dr. Seuss' political cartoons from the 1940's.

Peace. "I would like you to meet my little friend."
Let me introduce you to Mr. Tomahawk:



Suck it! I hope Mr. Taliban didn't need his military bases too badly. Or his radio towers. Or his house.

There's other cool (and one not-so-cool) pics if you click on any of these highlighted words. You know that guy, Wesley, from The Princess Bride?
Well, it looks like he's gonna be a new assistant director in the upcoming season of The X-Files. I hope that means there will be some sort of Battle of Wits scene between he and Doggett or something. That'd be so tight.

"Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!" Some links and other Random Crap^TM
From buddy/former roommie/butt pirate Josh: The Camel Toe Report. Very funny. Check out the celebrity 'Toes first.

From the Van Gogh-Goghs: How to win points at your job by being a chore

From me: Cornfield Ma(i)ze! A nice place to take a date. And then get lost in the maze and look like a champ when you have to call for help. Suckfest 2001
What do Tonya Harding, Kato Kaelin, Darva Conger, Gennifer Flowers, Leif Garrett, Todd Bridges, Kaya Wittenburg, and the Real World's Puck have in common? Well besides achieving awesomely negative media notoriety at some point in their lives, and generally sucking as a whole, they are also all appearing together on an episode of The Weakest Link. I swear to god, this is the weirdest thing I have ever heard. Props to the Weakest Link for getting this together. I saw this on Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live, and it was corroborated by this website. In other Weakest Link casting news, Entertainment Tonight reports here the casting for another celebrity show which may or may not have aired already. Now they just need to cast a show with Media Whores Matt Pinfield, Monica Lewinsky, Carrot Top, Vince McMahon, Gary Condit, Fred Durst, Tom Green, Charles Barkley, Lorne Michaels and Richard Hatch, with Michael Jackson as host, to achieve their goal of 0 ratings. Wow, get all those people in a building, bomb the building, and the National Enquirer will lose half its stories. Since we're on the topic of popular web services
Hotmail can kiss my ass.

I have a Hotmail account that I use for signing up for stuff that I don't want to use my regular email address for, which is definitely a good thing to do, because I get about 10 - 15 junk emails per day in my Hotmail account. About a month and a half ago, Hotmail made it much easier to block certain email addresses, while at the same time, 'vastly improving' their junk email protection filters. Since it was much easier to block addresses, I started blocking the email address of every junk email I got, but never utilized the filter protection.

Well, about 2 days ago, I was logged into my account, and I blocked some of the emails I got. The only problem is, Hotmail informed me you can only have 250 email addresses on your block list, and I had filled my list. They recommended I start using the junk mail filter. So I begrudgingly decided to give it a try, and initially put it on the lowest setting. Well that didn't work, I got 12 emails yesterday in my regular inbox, and 0 in my junk email box. So I decided to put it on the highest setting. And so I checked it tonight. Get this, I had 20 emails in my regular inbox, all junk, and 1 in my junk mail box. 1! The kicker of it is... I decided to look at the 'junk' email and see who it was from: it was from Hotmail!! Can you believe that? I then decided to test the service myself, and I sent myself an email from my hotmail account. That email also ended up in my junk email box, even though it was from the same account that received it! In the meantime, I received 2 more junk emails in my regular inbox. What the hell. Geocities can kiss my ass.
Apparently, my other site decided to get popular recently so they decided to temporarily close it down.
And that's not even the account I use to house all of my skins and stuff. Friggin' fascists.
Anyone know of a free web service that won't axe my site if people actually visit it?
I don't get it.. it's not like the site is full of animations, pictures, and other data-intensive crap.
Heh, I guess I could open up a fourth account...

Update: Looks like the site works again, so you won't be able to see the dumb temp page they had up on my site. Basically, it said "Sorry, this site is temporarily unavailable!" Of course, it isn't listed anywhere how much bandwidth I have allotted to me, so I don't what changes I should make to prevent it from happening again. I guess I took enough bandwidth to have my site down for eight hours instead of the one hour penalty they say they would do. How queer. Happy birthday, Jerome's mom
Jerome's not sure why he's talking in the third person right now. Number 71
There's some guy in baseball who has been hitting lots of home runs. Enough to break some other guy's record, in fact. Go figure. I wonder if Jake knows about this, heh. Posts by me are going to very small in numbers for a few days.
Just a heads up.

Hey, it's time for dinner! Mmmm... Funny!
So I was just minding my own business, ringing up some middle aged guy's supplies. He has his son with him, who couldn't have been more than 10 or 11. At each register, there's this little black container where people can donate to the WTC relief effort. The container has a picture of an American flag on it and has some text above and below it stating something like... well, you probably already have an idea what it says.

The 10-year-old saw the container, and told his dad that his class convinced "everyone" in his class to bring in American flags. Then, they mailed them all to the White House.

"Good for you," the father says.
"They probably burned all of the flags, though," said the son.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because they're all Republicans."

I had to smile at that point. That was too cool.

Also, some paranoid lady was telling me that all of these "donate to the WTC relief effort" things that essentially every company in the area is doing was a scam. The money was going to line the pockets of one of the higher-ups. It sickened her. And I was like, "You're an idiot. Go home." Actually, I just pretty much smiled and nodded until she finally shut the hell up and left the store. I like it when I go to bed at night...
...and I try to convince myself to go to bed fairly early that night since I have stuff to do the following morning. The only thing is, I don't really have any time-consuming things to do the following morning. So my body is like, "What the hell are you trying to prove? Stay up a little longer." And then I try to convince myself that I'll pay for it in the morning. The only problem is, I really won't, since the things I need to do can be done in the upcoming days instead of the following morning.

So the following morning comes and I want to get up at a certain time. That time comes, and instead of getting up, I end up sleeping for another hour or two. Then I get up just in time for me to do my normal everyday things before heading off for "work," but not for any of the other crap that I wanted to get done.

The moral of this story? Uh... the body has a mind of its own.

Yeah, this story sucks. It sounded a lot better before I decided to post it. My Own Music List
In a follow up to an article originally posted by Jerome, in light of the recent tragedy, I have made my own list of songs that should not be played for any reason. This is just a list I threw together, so its not as complete as it could be, but feel free to add your own songs by clicking on the comments button below.

A few songs that Puffy stole
Abba - Dancing Queen
Aerosmith - Anything off Just Push Play
Any song by Creed
Any Spanish language song by Christina Aguilera
Anything after The Jefferson Airplane became Jefferson Starship and then Starship
Aqua - Barbie Girl
Beatles - Yellow Submarine
Carl Douglas - Kung Fu Fighting
Cher - Believe
Chumba Wumba - Tub Thumping
Dave Matthews Band - Crash Into Me, Satellite
Dishwallah - Counting Blue Cars
Elton John - Tiny Dancer
Four Seasons - December 1963 (Oh What A Night)
Guns N Roses - Paradise City
Jane's Addiction - Jane Says, Been Caught Stealing
Jim Croce - Time In A Bottle
Led Zeppelin - Stairway to Heaven
Lenny Kravitz - American Woman
Mariah Carey - Anything written by Mariah, instead of someone else
Michael Jackson - Black or White, Remember the Time, Scream
NIN - Closer
Nirvana - Heart Shaped Box
No Doubt - Spiderwebs
Pearl Jam - Spin The Black Circle, Daughter, Betterman
Pink Floyd - Money
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Give It Away
REM - Bang and Blame, Nightswimming, Man On The Moon, Crush With Eyeliner
Sheryl Crow - Sweet Child Of Mine
Simon and Garfunkel - The Sound of Silence
Smashmouth - Then The Morning Comes
Stone Temple Pilots - Sour Girl, Interstate Love Song
Styx - Mr. Roboto
The Cure - Friday I'm in Love
The Who - I'm A Boy
Third Eye Blind - Graduate
Violent Femmes - Blister In The Sun
Wang Chung - Everybody Wang Chung Tonight
Weezer - Buddy Holly

(Note in many cases, I really like other songs by an artist, just not these particular songs) Links from Shacknews
I haven't really been citing my sources as of late. It's probably because they usually come from one of three places: Shacknews or a similar gaming site, Metafilter, or I find it on my own in some twisted way. Well, to get myself back in the habit, here's a bunch of links I stole shamelessly from Shacknews:

* In case you happen to hate Osama Bin Laden for some reason, you may want to kick his ass if you have Unreal Tournament, Quake 3: Arena, or even The Sims.

* Hey remember that Bridge Builder game from about six months ago? Well, I guess there's some sort of sequel to it now called Pontifex. Hooray.

* And finally, no, your company does not have to accommodate for your sexual dysfunction. Sorry, Jon. ;) Pimphats.com
Here's your link. Go check it out. There's some hats in there that totally scream "Winner!"

I think I may have to use the pic of the "black slick" guy for something one of these days. That guy reeks of awesomeness.

On a related note, if I still had my old flash intro that Mike made me back in the day, I'd link to it right about now. I'm sure it's somewhere on my hard drive, though. Hey, beautifulgarbage hit the shelves today.
Not that anyone cares besides me, heh.

Since Staples decided to give me the day off tomorrow (which, oddly enough, means I have a three-day break from working really hard... or hardly working?), I may have to make a trip to Strawberries or something after I clean my car and do an oil change and stuff. Woo. Quizzes are fun.
There's a quiz on boston.com today about dates in U.S. history. I haven't taken it yet, but uh... I'm assuming I'll do pretty well.

You can try that Miss America quiz located a few posts down if you haven't already. How to make millions
Open up a business -- perhaps like a bar setting -- that deals in the trafficing and promotion of "illegal" substances.
Make sure only a handful of people find out about it. It will explode like Project Mayhem on its own anyway.
Give your "buyers" and "users" the feeling that taking your substance will knock them on their ass.
Save expenses by using oxygen as your "illegal substance" instead of, say, crack cocaine or heroin.
Sit back and relax. More Taliban news... kinda.
You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with freakin' laser beams attached to their heads. Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done.

Hey, a Terrorist play! First, a Bengali kid was getting beat for speaking out agaisnt Osama, and now some teacher in El Salvador got her students to dress up and re-enact the WTC disaster? Freaky stuff.

We may not have sharks with lasers to combat terrorism, but someday, we may have laser beams of lead! Some US goverment sectors are interested in this Aussie technology for sniper rifles. That could be cool, but do snipers really need the ability to fire a million bullets a minute? One or two shots should be more than enough.

Or perhaps we should use a new type of molotov cocktail. Emphasis on the word "cock." :P I heard it could pack quite the "punch," too. Further update! (sorry about all the posts by me)
But Mike has taken a good look at the site, and has now declared it to be funny and he likes it. I swear, no coercion was necesary on my part. Unfortunately, I lost the IM conversation that would have been my proof of this. But that's ok, because in the conversation, he stated he was suing me becuase I posted our previous conversation without his consent. Update!
They added 2 U2 shows at Madison Square Garden, and I got some decent seats on saturday the 27th at $85 each, almost $100 when you figure ticketmaster charges. Email me if you are interested in going (2 tickets remaining and Jerome has first dibs on one of them). Pirates!
From the Boston Globe, these are the Taliban's ambassadors to Pakistan:



They look like pirates! Rrrrr Matey! I bet Afghanistan took that guy's eye out becuase he poked his boyfriend's eye out with his dick. You know how it is over there, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth code of laws. These guys are still living in the time of Hammurabi's Code.

Here are some other stories relating to the terrorist attacks: Someone actually has a tattoo, not only of another person, but of Osama Bin Laden.

Did you know that Afghanistan is the world's largest producer of Opium and Heroin? And now that will only increase. Talk about poppies.

And finally, a pretty good article with some perspective from the inside of Afghanistan from a former citizen.

In unrelated news:
Now you can go to a LAN party, and look like even more of a dork than usual, with this accessory from Alienware. You'll be the coolest cat in town carrying a huge Martian Red, or Nova Yellow computer on your back. I wonder where you fit the monitor?

I was not able to get U2 tickets because there just isn't a good enough system to buy tickets. I was on Ticketmaster's site for almost an hour, and it was 'too busy' the whole time, even though I kept hitting refresh... although its obvious some people were getting through, becuase after all that waiting, and broadening my search as wide as possible, I got a message that they were unable to fulfill my request. Why Bother?
So yesterday I went to see Weezer at Jones Beach Ampitheatre in Wantagh, NY, out on the island (freakin' island traffic!). My sister came down to see the show, and her and my mom and my dog stayed over my place last night. Also my friend Niru from work, and her friend, Mike sat with us. Overall, I'd say the concert was great. 7 thumbs up.

Here's the rundown: The show 'started' at 5, which is good becuase it was a cold day in an outdoor ampitheater. After getting slightly lost in island traffic, my sister and I got there at about 5:20 or so, and went right in. The first band had not started yet, so it was all good. We were disappointed to see that our seats, although dead center, were pretty high up, in fact, the last row in our section, even though we got them at internet presale. It was kinda cold, but that's ok. One awesome thing that happened was I saw a guy who I knew from high school. I saw him way the hell down here in Yankee country. What was even more amazing is that he said 'hi' to me and made me follow him. He took me to a place where I found one of my best friends in the whole world, Dan. Dan lives in Virginia with his girlfriend, and drove 7 hours to see Weezer, and even though he KNEW I was going to be at the show, neglected to call me and tell me that he was going to be there also. But he did have his friend, that guy from high school, on the lookout for me. So it was all cool as I got to hang out with him and his girlfriend and my sister. And we met up later after the show.

We were expecting the opening bands to be The Start, and Cold, and we were hoping that Weezer would get onstage at about 7:30 at the latest. The Start got on about 5:45, and played about 8 songs, one of which was a decent version of 'Breed' by Nirvana.

After they were done playing, a medley of 80's songs filled the place while their techs disassembled their equipment, and the techs for the next band assembled their equipment. So we were sitting and waiting for Cold mostly so they would hurry through their set and Weezer would come on, sitting and waiting sitting and waiting. It was GETTING COLD, so I guess we weren't waiting that hard for Cold.

So at this point its getting dark and my friend Niru shows up, and we give her the bad news that we still have to wait through another band before Weezer starts. Since Niru and Mike were hungry, they decided to go get some food. While they were gone some guy in the crowd started a wave, which was neat in the smallish (~15,000 seat) theatre. The only problem is, Weezer came on about 7:15 and played 2 and a half songs before they got back. So I felt bad, because they were expecting Cold to come on first! (We later found out that Cold was sick of being taunted and told they suck by Weezer fans, and quit the tour.) Here is the set list that Weezer played (courtesy of Weezer.com): Island In The Sun, In The Garage, Crab, Knock Down Drag Out, So Low (new!), Photograph, Tired of Sex (the only song they Played off Pinkerton, which is unfortunate, because it is my favorite of their albums), My Name is Jonas (my sister's favorite), Do You Want Me To Stay (also new), Smile, Your Room, Undone, Don't Let Go, Say It Ain't So, Glorious Day, Hash Pipe during this song, there was a tremendous amount of smoke let off by smoke machines, and the wind and neat blue lights made it look very eerie and very cool, and the final song of the regular set, Only In Dreams, which was a totally awesome rendition and a five minute jam, also with cool smoke and lights and wind. After a five minute encore break, they came back out and played Buddy Holly, and during the song, the famous flying =W= came down from the ceiling and the crowd went nuts, and finally they closed the show with Surf Wax America. Weezer has stopped playing most songs from Pinkerton becuase as Rivers Cuomo has said '[that album] is sick and diseased' even though me and a good portion of my Weezer liking friends like that one the best. Its weird, cuz when I saw Weezer in March in Albany, they played a LOT of songs from Pinkerton. Even though they didn't play my 6 most favoritest songs by them (Why Bother, The World Has Turned and Left Me Here, The Good Life, No One Else, Across The Sea, and Pink Triangle and it doesn't help that 4 of those are from Pinkerton), I still had an absolutely great time becuase I like most of their other songs, and can sing along, which always adds to the concert experience.

After the show, I met up with Dan, and the guy from high school, and Dan's girlfriend, and some others, and we laughed and joked and hugged and stuff, and I showed off my new car, and everybody loved it. I had a great night.