A moment of silence.

Found It! August 31 by Max Jerome (192 found)
Me and a coworker friend headed down to Tully Dam for some "geofrolf," also known as geocaching frisbee golf. We played the first nine holes (more accurately, baskets), found this cache when crossing the street to the 10th hole, then played the back nine.

I found the cache, but my buddy was the one who was able to get it out of its hiding spot. Signed it. I let him put it back. TFTC!

Yes sir. Suckered another person to do the cache hunting with me. Not sure if he was into it, but he's the outdoorsy hiker traveling fool type, so I don't think he hated it either. There are two caches in very close proximity to where we play frisbee golf. We managed to find this one, but the second one eluded us. I really hate it when I'm introducing someone to my best and biggest time kill and we fail to produce. The cache we did find was a film canister hidden in a highway sign. The second one would have been better, as it was an actual cache in the woods. But we couldn't find it and it was getting dark. Damnit.

Frisbee Golf Deathmatch Tournament #3 had its ups and downs. The biggest plus was that I totally schooled my opponent (seriously) and made a few pars in a row. The biggest minus was that I lost one of my better frisbee discs on the very first throw on the very first basket. It left my hand early, fell into the water, sank, and I couldn't retrieve it. Son of a bitch. I don't think I would have mind if it was one of the discs I rarely use because I suck at throwing it, but the one I lost did me well the last time we went out to play. So sad. My frisbee buddy may head back down with a kayak this coming weekend, so he may attempt to fish it out. I'm sure there's a ton of lost and forgotten frisbees in those waters.

DX Cheetah, you will always be remembered. Site statistics
Strangely, geocaching.com is my biggest referral this month to date. That's not saying much, though, since it's only accounting for .35% of my total hits.

I did find two caches yesterday. Didn't bother leaving the house today. There's still a chance I may make it to 200 in the next two days, but I don't really gain anything by doing so. Other than sleep deprivation. 200 some time this weekend is completely feasible, however.

It's getting darker sooner nowadays. And once daily savings ends, I'm totally screwed with any post-work hiking I may want to do.

Anyway, about my site statistics... I really thought I'd share some of the things people are searching for that have somehow led them to my site in the last few months. Possible relevant links included:

* doorless shower in middle of room hgtv
* sugar glider stop barking -dog
* the scoutmaster's cock (link)
* ugliest kid like a fish
* what is a competency demostration report and how can i write on
* [a friend's full name]
* dolphin safe tuna (link)
* squirrel and alcohol (link)
* sexy fucked wife neighbor
* i got bad sharky vibes wherever i go
* naughtynuns (link)
* free moive bother and sister fuck sex
* limewire porn abbreviations

I'm not sure where the hell some of those came from. But they worry me. It's giving me bad sharky vibes wherever I go. Tuesday Funnies

A virile, young Italian bro named Consuelo was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome, when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde.

Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment, and after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless.

After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, "So... you finish?"

She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."

Surprised, the young man reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashes about wildly and there are screams of passion.

The rooting ends, and again, the young man smiles, and again he asks, "You finish?"

And again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him, and softly says, "No."

Stunned, but damned if this woman is going to outlast him, the young man reaches for the woman yet again using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, they end together, screaming, bucking, clawing, and ripping the bed sheets.

The exhausted man falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly, and asks again, "You finish?"

Barely able to speak, she sighs in his ear, "No... I, I... Norwegian."

It's that time of year again.
Next person to invite me to an autodraft fantasy football league is getting punched in the face.

I want to pick my team. Live. I want to exploit your shitty picking skills to get the best player I can each round, and push picking up certain positions into the later rounds if I feel I can get away with it. Autodrafting doesn't allow me to make the picks I want when I want to make them. The computer picks based off a list. Fuck that.

Autodrafting is for the casual, the neophyte, and the people who are probably gonna quit halfway through the season. Unfortunately, I'm not a "casual" fantasy football player. I play seriously. I play to win. And I play to take your pool money. Not a very good day for caching today.
Let me rephrase that.

It was a good day for caching, but I didn't come close to meeting my own personal expectations.

How do you catch up to someone who blew by you by finding 48 caches in two days? Easy. You find the same 48 caches he found and even the score. While I didn't expect to find 48 in two days (much harder to find stuff alone than it is in a group), I did write down the coordinates of 28 caches more or less in the same area. I didn't think I'd have time to find all 28, but I figured finding a solid 20 would be reasonable.

I found six. Five on my own. Not even close to 20. I think I made an effort to look for nine or ten. That was it.

The problem with Wendell State Forest -- the place that tournament was held last weekend -- is that everything was a potential hiding spot. Sure, the caches were close together, but I still spent a ridiculous amount of time finding each one. There are way too many rocks and trees and whatnot in that park. In fact, the next time I go, it would be in my best interest to bring a flashlight with me. And perhaps some other people.

I also couldn't get a decent lock. Ever. Sometimes, I would be standing at one place and the GPS would say I'm 10 feet from the cache. A few seconds later, it would say I was 90+ feet. It makes it very hard to figure out which direction you should be going or if you're in the general area yet.

I did run into a couple of cachers. Twice. I just found my latest cache and they drove up slowly towards the picnic table I was at, saw the GPS, got out of their car, and asked where the cache was. Heh. Apparently they were on a big numbers run, too, expanding their current lead over someone(s) that went to the tournament last weekend. We'd tackle a cache together that I had trouble finding (turned out to be a micro taped to a pine cone, which was placed in a birch tree. Clever.), then we went out separate ways. I'd meet up with them later, but we would fail at finding that second cache.

I really was thinking today would be the day where I'd break 200. It's gonna require a lot of work now, and possibly some luck, for me to pull that off before the end of the month. Sundays are usually good days for hunting for me, but I probably won't have time tomorrow. Stuff to do.

I'm gonna need a canoe... I'm so screwed.
My secret nemesis found 48 more caches. In two days. TWO DAYS! He's at least up to 214. I got some friggin' work ahead of me now. How'd he get so many? It was a result of a big event in Western Mass called The Great Northern Tier Geocaching Tournament. I would have like to have gone to this, but I wouldn't have known anyone there and I work Sundays. Maybe next year. I doubt I'll still be working Sundays by next year...

My record is 12 in a day. How the hell am I supposed to compete with that insanity?

Every time I get close or pass him, he pulls one of these shenanigans. I'm starting to think that he has learned of my secret plan! Hax!

Time to hit the ol' drawing board. The Three-Variable Funny Test
I am:

the Ham
(42% dark, 50% spontaneous, 31% vulgar)
your humor style:
CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | LIGHT

Your style's goofy, innocent and feel-good. Perfect for parties and for the dads who chaperone them. You can actually get away with corny jokes, and I bet your sense of humor is a guilty pleasure for your friends. People of your type are often the most approachable and popular people in their circle. Your simple and silly good-naturedness is immediately recognizable, and it sets you apart in this sarcastic world.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Will Ferrell - Will Smith

My test tracked three variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 24% on darkness
You scored higher than 61% on spontaneity
You scored higher than 33% on vulgarity

Test link. Requires a login. Tuesday Funnies

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, he motioned for her to come nearer.

She sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.

When I got fired, you were there to support me.

When my business failed, you were there.

When I got shot, you were by my side.

When we lost the house, you stayed right here.

When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck, get the hell away from me."

Bonus funny:

The following 15 police comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country:

#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9. "Warning? You want a warning? Ok, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey doo."

#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't."

Does this count as a find? An FTF?
I don't feel like being very descriptive, but I hid my cache in the woods after I got out of work today. I've had this area picked out in Concord for a while. I recently bought some canisters online, I got my crappy loot together, and I was off!

My goal was to place a cache near a granite quarry, since granite is like the only thing people know New Hampshire for. That and the Old Man in the Mountain. Which is broken. Oh, and the whole "no sales tax" thing.

This is the cache container. Army-issued 30-caliber ammo canister. Water tight. Bring it.

This is its contents. Lots of good stuff in there. Need a crossover cable? Go hike for it! I dumped a lot of my trade bait in there. Included was this travel bug that I liked very much. It's a coin. The front. The back. Rock.

I bought a geocoin that I'm hoping will make its rounds hopping from cache to cache across the world and dumped it off, too. This is the front and this is the back. My current goal for it reads, "I would like to go through Canada, Louisiana, New England, and wherever French is spoken! I'd also like to visit hockey arenas and maple syrup-making places. Might sound stereotypical, but hey, that's the Canuck blood in me, eh! ;)"

I have a second Canadian geocoin, but I'm gonna hold on to it. Cachers I come across in the woods can log it for meeting me (swhorfe? :)).

It didn't really take any time for me to find and locate a parking area for my hike. I'm not sure where I parked was legit, but whatever. It worked out for me in the end. :)

Near the trailhead, I found this sign. I probably would have been scared off if I didn't read about this story on Friday. I heard the beast only comes out at night...

The hike itself wasn't too bad. Very rocky. Supposedly, the trail I was on doubles as a mountain bike trail, but you'd be hard pressed to see me blazing down it.

About a third of a mile up, I came across a small quarry.

Near the cache (approximately a mile later) is a bigger quarry. There's a ton of rocks, too. Go figure.

It took me a while to locate a spot where I don't think non-geocachers would find my cache and steal it. Then I was off. I debated making my own graffiti on the rocks but I stopped myself. First of all, I'm most curious about how people managed to spraypaint the middle of the cliff. Were they lowered down? Can they walk on stilts? Do they possess the strongest butterfly stroke ever? Secondly, I didn't have a spray can, so that really killed the dream.

Oh well. Here's the cache link. It's not active at the moment, but I assume it will be in 24-72 hours. I'm thinking Flyleaf is a kick-ass band.
Got out of work at 11:30 PM last night. Ugh. We are so short-handed in my department. It's very funny to see that I have never been a fifth wheel; staffing has never been up to 100% since I dropped down to part-time status. If I left now (or ever), it would totally screw over my department.

I didn't get up as early today as I wanted to, but I was still out the door before 8:30 AM. I drove north of Concord to the town of Penacook and attempted to clean out the caches there. Once that was over with, I visited a couple of the caches I failed at a couple weeks ago, then headed westward to clear up another set of caching loose ends. All in all, I sought out 20 caches. I found 12, a new record for me in a day. Of the eight I walked away from, four were because of muggle activity. Three I simply could not find. And there was one cache where I just couldn't figure out where the hell I was supposed to park. I'm thinking that one was only accessable via kayak or the like. Yay water sports.

18 more 'til 200. I'm starting to think I can get it done before September again.

Tomorrow is "Jerome hides his cache" day, but thundershowers are in the forecast, so we'll see how that turns out. I don't want to wait another week to get it up and running. I want to take pics of my cache and its nearby scenery. They would look a lot better if it wasn't dark and the lens wasn't covered in water. Go figure.

I'm out now. So tired.

Better internet radio: Pandora. I've known about this for a long time, but I never really played around with it much until late last week. I dig it. I've discovered new bands and CD's I wanna pick up. "Disco Stu doesn't advertise."
More people I know are discovering my site, and I'm always frightened of the consequences. I don't make any effort to advertise my site for many reasons, and I prefer others not to do the advertising for me. Seriously. Strangers I could care less about (I average 120 visitors a day), but it puts me in an awkward position when others whore out my site to other people we both commonly know. What I write can get deep. And it gets very weird when people who don't really know me start reading some of my more personal stuff, or start seeing sides of me that they haven't seen. I don't like feeling as if I need to start censoring my own work. What I write, though on a public forum, does not need to be common knowledge to the entire world. I have enough trouble trusting or opening myself up to others as it is. Consider yourself lucky that I write what I write as often as I do to begin with.

It's fun to learn when others have discovered my site on their own, but don't advertise it to the world please. I don't. :P If others care that much, they can find the site on their own as well. It's not a big secret, but I've face awkward "backlash" of sorts once before and I really don't want to go through it again. Getting served
Nothing sucks quite like new geocaches popping up in locations that you know, but you can't go hunt them down because it's already night time and you won't find it first anyway because there are rabid cachers locally that will beat you to it by the time you make the drive for it. Son of a bitch. There's two new ones in my home town, and there's nothing I can do to FTF them. It'll be too late by the time I get there.

On the plus side, I did barter for the unalienable rights of the boss's boss's boss's daughter in an auction using only the items I had lying in my desk drawer today. While she can't strafe jump or preform any air combos, she can make sandwiches. And trust me, she'll be making a lot of them (among other things ;)). Tuesday Funnies

Miracle of Toilet Paper

Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts were too small.

Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically came up with a suggestion.

"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, I fetched a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

"How long will this take?" I asked.

"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replied.

I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"

Without missing a beat he said, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

He's still alive and with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again.

Stupid, stupid man

Owned. The three-word game
The last couple weeks at work, a small group of us have been playing a little email game seductively titled "The Three-Word Game." I bet you can't figure out how it works! (/sarcasm) Someone puts down three words, forwards it to the next person, who then adds three more words, forwards it to the next person, and the cycle repeats until... uh... 'til we get bored with it? I don't know. It's a pretty dumb little game, but it helps pass the time every now and then. I was hoping we could use this as practice for the Nanowrimo contest, a contest where you have to write a 50,000-word novel during the month of November (30 days). Unfortunately, we're having problems getting people to add to the nonsensical story in a timely matter to make this even a remotely feasible goal.

Here was our first three-word game "result." We started with four people in the loop, though we finished with three:

I can't remember the last time I saw my large bumpy red cold sores react to the ointment in that fashion. I grabbed my scoutmaster's fully erect hiking stick and proceeded to put it right next to the sore, in hopes it would react like a giant weasel with massive sweat glands. Instead, the ring of redness swelled like my previous girlfriend's inner thigh after I dropped that big rock on her.

I lit a kiln, for the hot poker needed heat to burst the kitten into a fireball of molten feline. It proceeded to scurry across the floor, screaming in agony as it slammed right into the plastic trash can. The many onlookers shunned my cruelty. One guy even stated, "Not even Doom music can save that little bag of plague." I looked for a way through the massive pile of smoking fur, finding bits of fingernails, chapstick, and cold sore ointment.

In closing, the... Ughh... Gates... of Rite-Aid were locked, keeping me from gently touching my sores with clean stridex pads. Awkwardly, no one can clear them with the old method.

It could have kept going, but still, it's not a bad first run. Clearly, people were setting up some interesting possibilities with combinations like "scoutmaster's fully erect" and whatnot.

With a group of four, things went heinously awry because we didn't have any other rules in place:

Blood was everywhere in the garage that my wife left moments earlier. We argued earlier about her cooking, which was reminiscent of fresh live Brady Bunch episodes. She burnt the youngest child first, painted herself purple and then went apeshit because the other two children had a bizarre case of chicken pox. If those children were to figure out why mommy burns them, the leader guy would surely confiscate their last vile little toy and shove it up into the vent making the oxygen toxic due to the melting plastic. The family dog is now convulsing and shitting himself. That's because she was deeply penetrated with a big helping of Alpo. It was awful.

Several other events have caused pure panic in local religious sects, especially one involving priests, porn, and little children. In other happenings, the local sexual offender listing carved beautiful butterflies together after dinner.

Today's weather will provoke multiple violent tremors relating to the elderly sections of the Atlantic seaboard, with high risk for turbulent winds resulting in possible coastal flooding and increased aggressive tendencies. We recommend that if you need to seek shelter, avoid the garage for all evil and get to the Red Cross. While there, keep your families together in case my wife should enter. You know her, she's the one that enjoys the chicks on sticks, and burning babies.

Let's not forget the time that little Joey wouldn't drop his pants to show off his new tattoo. He was never shy about stroking the final hole with his 5-iron (slang for fingertips) and blowing off the people waiting at the bus for a child. This is a normal situation on Mister Rogers episodes, like the one where he grabs the little puppet tightly to his chest and rubs it until his producer pulls him off King Friday. Anyway, Joey seems driven by the last movie he made with my wife, the one with him putting his sandwich she made in the trash while stabbing chihuahuas. Using his tool with precision, Joey cut out the second and fourth piece with brilliant accuracy. Making this display most memorable was a skewered red glowing object mounted on a wall of the Pope's pornography room. It gleamed like the backside of an altar boy... This necessitated lubrication of the tool. From there he lubed away while stiffening his large machine of power. Losing his mind, my wife burned

So horrible, I'm glad it abruptly ended. What's funny is that each person had a different idea as to how they wanted to progress the story (who the hell is Joey?), but you can't dictate what the other people write. It also didn't help that one person would purposefully hit the story into left field with bizarre three-word combos like "carved beautiful butterflies" in regards to the sex offender listing. wtf? Clearly, we had to add some rules about having the story make a little bit of sense.

Group of three:

There I stood with blood on my front porch. The evidence needed to put me behind bars was buried deep within the floorboards. If the carpet extractor failed on me before Ned arrived, I would have been forced to lure him away from the scene. Clutching the handle of the shovel, I had to go all emo. I was overcome with bad poetry and teenage angst after a night at Studio 54. I fired up the wood chipper because mulched landscape smells nicely with the scent of the dead body of Lionel Richie. I killed him. His music sucked. I mean, seriously... talk about a no-talent loser.

On that subject, [the writer who dropped out] went inside the cardboard box where my rusty guitar strings are tied around his freakishly large lower pit stains. He said very hurtful and nasty things to his wife, and she made

I thought that went better. It wasn't as way the fuck out there as the prior run. It's fiiting because the writer who dropped out does have freakishly large pit stains. :)

Another three-person run is below. There is a running joke about how one of the contributors to this project would be consumed by "the fire:"

So there I sat, aimlessly fondling Brucie my teddy when all of my surroundings began to spin. I must have drank well beyond my usual limit. This really hurt my public image. My eyes burn with dryness and sand. I turn abruptly to my left and there is a note attached to the bench. It looked like it had been hanging there for months. It's a bill of rights for the rodent community. Fuck them. I grabbed my flamethrower and headed to [writer's] apartment. At last, the fire had him. I pulled the gas tank into the front hall, knocked on the door before me and waited. Then, the moment came. The door opened and to my glee, [he] stood directly before me. His eyes were bloodshot as always. I knew that this wasn't going to be difficult, and I readied the flame and took aim. He charred quickly like a tinderbox. The screams were very girly, and complaints of an awful odor from his searing flesh were called unbearable, gross and veal-like. "I win," thought the fire. [He] was throwing himself spastically around the living room. Amazingly, he almost died from lack of another man's soft chest hair stuffed down his air conditioning device.

After smothering the plot to absurdity, the writer realized he had to start all over. He went back to the part where it says...

He almost died from the blaze, but continued to fight the searing heat with all his might. He made chuffing noises and rolled around yearning for oxygen. Good waffles stick to him as [his girlfriend] threw them and the toaster ended up breaking. Not even Doom music makes this story have any fewer falsehoods than [a prevaricator we work with's] life. Critically wounded but not dead yet, [writer] gingerly fingered the .38 next to him on the floor. Raising it at her because she can't bend her knees and scrub the kitchen floor properly, he felt the conflict rise inside, aimed the gun, and epically proceeded to blow holes into her face while laughing hysterically. Still smoldering in his own juices, he searched for a large blade to slice his way into the next room, seeing how the current room's ablaze. Once there, he assumed the position. He dropped his blade and locked the door. "The stack of child toys should hold the door closed", he thought.

He checked the windows for the fire. He couldn't see much outside due to his burnt retinas and blistered eyelids. He felt the end was six seconds away when all of a sudden, he furiously shat himself.

This is the worst thing to ever be read so let's start over... again? Sigh...

This bedtime story is all done.

T'is all for now. We were trying out a seven-word three-person game, but that produced results that were just as absurd as what's posted above.

Maybe this stuff was only funny as we were writing it? I dunno. I still find it a bit amusing. A busy week.
Haven't written much recently. I bet you couldn't have figured that on your own, right? I'm the master of the obvious.

It's nice to see myself finally have this neat concept people refer to as "having a life." I'm not sure how it happened exactly, since it wasn't really something I was seeking out given my introversion. But whatever. I'll take it. My week nights are my "quiet times," but last week, I was gone every night of the week.

Monday was frisbee golf in Royalston, MA. It was all tied up at the 18th basket and then I blew it by one "stroke." Son of a bitch.

Tuesday was actually my only day off. I took a 2- or 3-hour nap. Then I had dinner and went back to bed, if I recall correctly.

Wednesday, my department had a fancy dinner to attend with the people we do business with on Mount Snow in Wilmington, VT. That's quite the ride. It was made longer when the person I was driving with and I just kept talking on and on and totally passed the exit we had to take to get back home. Added another hour to our already long commute. What's funny is that it took me a half hour to notice something was up. So much for making it home at a reasonable time. Not sure how the hell she and I made conversation all the way to and from the dinner; I expected a lot of "quiet time."

Thursday was golf in Spofford, NH. We'll probably be playing golf every two weeks. My game greatly improved on my second outing. Not that I exactly raised the bar on my first time out. I got the ball airborne a few times. I'm a big fan of the 9-iron; I can chip like a champ. True story. We rented some golf carts and I really wanted to flip one of them over. There were geese just hanging out on the fairway of the third hole. They shat all over the place. Bastards.

I have golf videos from our first outing. The file size is too huge for me to share. But some are pretty funny.

Friday night was drinking night. Yay beer. Didn't drink enough to make my dart game awesome, and my pool skills were ok at best. Meh.

I was up early Saturday because the only cousin I have that talks to me was having a "going away" party; she'll be leaving for the Navy in three weeks. So I had to stop by. When I got there, I didn't recognize anyone. :P Eventually, my sister showed up as well as my other uncle (clearly, my cousin's father was already there). I also ran into a former aunt who I haven't seen in approximately 15 years. That was pretty crazy. I stuck around for a few hours, but I wanted to get some geocaching done while there was still daylight. I found five (one being a webcam cache - check out me and my car!) on my way to Hudson, NH (where she lives) and three more after I left.

Though I really wanted to leave because there were so few people I recognized, I was kinda sad driving away. I really don't talk to this cousin much, but most of my relatives (immediate and extended) don't really make any effort to keep in touch with me. She does. Not sure why, but she does. So I cherish that in my own little sappy way. Sniff. Congrats, Elise, and good luck with you.

Today, I had to work in the morning. Then I banged out a string of six caches before heading to Hillsboro. That's enough for me to retake the lead against my secret nemesis (see post below).

I think this coming week will be a little less hectic, though I do have more frisbee golf to play tomorrow. I may have to work at my part-time job Friday night. If that happens to come to light, I'll use Saturday to bang out a ton of more caches in Concord and see how close I can get to 200 by month's end. I may even make the goal if I do it right.

I'm also gonna hide my first cache next weekend. Aren't you giddy with anticipation? I know I am. I got some ammo containers in the mail this past week, so I'm good to go. I just need my FTF ("first to find") prize (a Canadian geocoin) to show up, and I'll be banging on all cylinders. Woo. I'm in trouble now.
Many weeks ago, I was secretly racing another local geocacher because I was bored and needed a challenge. Despite his huge lead on me back when I started this little secret game, I blew by him rather quickly. I continued to maintain a respectable lead from that point on and I never looked back.

Apparently, he went crazy and found 34 in the last five days. Must have the week off work or something. And I know for a fact he has an accomplice (brother-in-law and seasoned cacher as well) on his expeditions. So now I'm looking at a ten cache deficit. Could have been six if I didn't suck balls this past weekend. Looks like it's back on now.

That's a fairly daunting task for me. I'm curious how many more he'll find this week and how much of a deficit I'll have to overcome. Unfortunately, I don't really have the opportunity to go on some sort of caching power trip until Labor Day, assuming I don't attend anybody's barbecue or whatever. I don't think this coming weekend is going to net many caches, and I'm going to hide my first cache the weekend after that (in theory) in a cache-less area. There are still a few in or around Keene I could hit up. Not enough to make much of a difference, though. Hopefully, he's not aiming to hit 250 this season. :P Tuesday Funnies
A buddy at work compiled this list in about 15 minutes. Quite an impressive feat, because it's quite decent as well. Yeah, the date is off, but it wasn't Tuesday then. If only real life played like a MMORPG...

Today, August 4th, 2006 maintenance was performed on the "Earth" server. The following issues were addressed:

The "Female" gender group underwent the following changes to improve game balance:

* The "Lust" passive trait has been altered to more accurately affect sober players, and now has less of an effect on players currently enfeebled by the "Drunk" and "Lonely" debuffs.

* The duration of stun from the "Bitch" ability has been altered in accordance with the changing of the "Lust" passive trait.

* Previously, a female gendered player could meet a male gendered player, stage an in game wedding, and then leave the marriage while retaining the male player's wealth. A new feature has been implemented as a protection against this extremely unbalancing glitch.

* Adjustments have been made to the time delay in between occurrences of the "In the mood" state.

* Adjustments have been made to the "Driving" skill.

* The amount of time required to complete the synthesis recipe for "Child" has been greatly decreased, and the amount of critical failures has been increased drastically.

* A glitch allowing repeated use of the "Bitch" job ability after completion of the "Child" synthesis has been addressed.

* A glitch allowing access to Male player's bank accounts has been addressed.

* Female player's "Relationship" technique tree has been altered to no longer allow multiple partners.

* An issue where attempting to rationalize with a female would cause the game to crash has been addressed.

* An issue where attempting to be logical with a female would cause the game to crash has been addressed.

* The cost of the following character enhancements have been reduced: Chest

* An issue where female characters would defaultedly take priority in job hiring processes has been addressed.

* An issue where arguments with female characters were able to force the game into a closed loop state has been addressed.

* The following modifications have been made to the Female communication techniques: Volume Reduction, Coherency Enhancement.

Buncha cock teases all of ya. My pimp hand is strong.

Courtney: frizbee golf is that fun?
Me: would be better if there weren't so many damn trees
Courtney: lol
Me: i don't think i've mastered the art of throwing them yet
Me: i got a bunch of frisbees and each one has different flight characteristics
Me: but they all go the same way regardless :-P
Me: i thought it'd be easy for me since i'm a superstar with your typical beach frisbee
Me: but such is not the case
Courtney: you have fun trying though?
Me: yeah
Me: soon i'll go pro and make my millions ;)
Courtney: nice
Courtney: you are my super star!
Me: :)
Me: damn right ;)
Courtney: :-*

I get all the ladies. Especially this one. ;)

I had my second run at disc golf tonight. First time I got to whiz my new discs all over the place. Our scores were better this time, but I'm not sure we really improved much. The whole "straight throw" notion still eludes us. And I really need to work on my putting skills. The NFL is back!
Is it that time already? I noticed the other day that the first preseason games are this coming Thursday. Holy shit. I gotta brush up on my fantasy football stuff.

I wasn't sure if there was going to be a fantasy league this year at my place of part-time work because so many workers from last year are gone now. But alas, it's still on. We were doing a 2-player keeper league last year, but with so few "managers" left over from last year, we'll have to settle for a normal league. That works out beautifully for me, because I didn't have anyone that's good carrying over to this season. :) So I lucked out. We're playing for money again. I'd rather have it that way, too. People aren't gonna just give up on their team if they had to invest 50 bucks into the pot.

I'm not sure if there's a league I can join at my place of full-time work. I don't know enough football fans there. We did something last year, but with no money in the pot, a number of teams gave up halfway through. Pussies. Finish what you started!

I don't have cable in my apartment. Or a TV. But I'd really like to watch the games on Sunday. Hmm... 200 by September is totally not gonna happen.
I didn't really think I would be able to do it. I got too much shit coming up. But I pretty much blew any chance of reaching that goal this weekend. Yesterday, I went 3 for 3. Not bad, but I was hoping to do more. Unfortunately, one of my hikes through Pisgah took 2 1/2 hours round trip (about 6 miles) when I thought I could have it wrapped up in about an hour (didn't think it would be 6 miles). I grossly underestimated that one. It didn't take me long to find the cache. I just predicted I could keep a consistent pace of 4 mph. Didn't happen. That's a damn impossible pace regardless of how flat of a hiking trail you're on.

Today was a complete failure. I found a quick nano before work this morning, but I went 0 for 4 in the afternoon, wasting three hours of my time. The first one I sought I simply could not find. "The key to this score is a log with a bore." I found plenty of logs. I found plenty of bores. But I didn't find something that was both. Plus there was a ton of overgrowth, making finding anything a chore-and-a-half. The next two I went hunting for I couldn't even begin a search. Both appear to be popular swimming holes in the conservation land I was hiking in. People were there enjoying the sunny weather. The fourth DNF ("did not find") was perhaps the worst of the bunch. I don't think I took the right trail in, and I ended up hiking a very suspect trail full of rocks and mud and unpleasantness. I had to make my own trail for the last 800 feet. By the time I got to the area, I could hear other people coming to my vicinity. Hoping they would go away, I hid for a while, but then they got too close for comfort and I took off like a gazelle on the open prairie. Except replace "open prairie" with "lighted wooded area." I thought of sticking it out because they were probably fellow geocachers, but since I had no fucking clue if I was on private or public property, I bolted. It sucked, too, because I didn't get a chance to search the area out and it took a lot of time for me to hike to the area. Son of a bitch. What a waste of a day.

I thought of taking the "scenic view" back to Keene and hit up new caches along the way, but since I failed miserably thus far today, I just wanted to go back to my apartment. Lacking the confidence... though I guess I can't really be blamed for the last three DNF's. I've never had four consecutive DNF's before. Completely unacceptable.

I need a posse for this activity. Really would cut down on the search time. Bonus points if I can find someone with a silver tongue to distract any muggles while I (and the others?) search.

Number 250 on top of Monadnock before the season is over. Yup.
It's been a pretty quiet week. Not a hell of a lot worth mentioning. Yet I'm sure somehow your typical MySpace blogger would find a way to turn my pretty ho hum week into a 15-page essay. I like to attempt to avoiding such worthless shit. Nothing but high quality nuggets of goodness here. Though here I am, rambling nonsensically...

My computer is more or less repaired, though not in a fashion I deem optimal. I want everything on my SATA2 drive. Unfortunately, I can't get my operating system to run on my SATA drive, so I'm force to keep the OS on my recently-purchased-but-not-particularly-fond-of IDE drive. So it looks like I'm keeping most OS and programs on the IDE drive, and things that would most benefit from a SATA interface (games and such) on the SATA drive. Hmm. Until Vista comes, anyway. Hopefully that will work perfectly from the start like all other Microsoft products. :P

I received my disc golf frisbees earlier in the week. They're pretty awesome. Most of them were different from what my frisbee buddy has. I haven't had a chance to use them on the course yet, but I did throw them in my mother's backyard once, aiming for a specific tree roughly 60 or so feet away. Most of my throws went straight. Some curved left. Some went right. One hit dead on and has a nice dinger to show for it. :) Maybe I wasn't throwing from far enough away, but I didn't experience any throws that would arc to the right at the time of release and then land way left of what I was aiming for. Maybe I'll solo the course this weekend...

I don't have much planned this weekend. I have some drinking to do with the ladies tomorrow night, which most likely means that my Saturday morning is shot to hell. I'd like to do some geocaching in Vermont since I haven't done any hunting in that state before, but I'm also leaning towards the south (near the disc golf course) or east (the "scenic" way home). Hmm. Then there's Sunday, which is usually a work then cache then go back to Keene day. I still have to find a quarry to hide my yet-to-be-created cache in.

Very exciting, as always.

Decent internet radio: XRM Radio. Good alternative mix. Tuesday Funnies

Trucker

A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich!!"

The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal."

The trucker replies, "Listen sweetheart, I ain't horny, I'm homesick."