Mine Mountain
For the last few days, swhorfe and I have had vaporware-like plans to do some caching on Thursday. Leaving my apartment that morning, I wasn't entirely sure it was gonna happen, since we didn't come up with a destination and his dedication to the task at hand was lackluster at best. I brought a GPS and a spare set of clothes with me just in case, but I wasn't holding my breath.

To my glee, swhorfe wanted to play in the woods. Though I though he might want to do something locally or perhaps play in the canoe, he wanted to do the somewhat nearby cache that involved dropping down into a 25-foot cavern located on some fairly rugged terrain. Interesting! This cache requires rope!

This week ends our fiscal year at work, so there was no hope of getting out early and maximize the amount of daylight we would have. It also didn't help that I had to head back to my apartment to get my hiking shoes; I neglected them when I got my shit together that morning. I wasn't at swhorfe's place until about 5:20 or so. I also didn't have the cache description printed out, as I didn't think I would have the opportunity to do this cache for quite a while. Though the forest the cache was in was close to his place, the complete lack of any sort of pre-planning kept us out of its parking lot until about 6:00. The sun set at approximately 6:45.

The hike was 1.1 miles in, assuming you went in a straight line. So it was probably more like 1.5 miles. Upon entering Madame Sherri State Forest, we found some ruins of a stone house, supposedly taken down by a fire a long time ago. Not much remains aside from some foundation, a staircase, and a fireplace. It was a great photo op, but I think we may have spent a little too much time here for our own good.

Once we hiked halfway in, the terrain really kicked it up a notch. We were hiking up a mountain from that point on. It took us some time to reach the top; the incline was pretty rough in spots and the trail would randomly disappear and come back several feet later. By the time we got to the "summit vista," it was sunset. We had under 30 minutes to find the cache and get the hell out of here. There was a great view of Brattleboro and the Connecticut River up here, but time was of the essence. No photos.

I was expecting us to walk straight to the cavern, do our thing, and get out of there in no time. Little did we expect the cave to be at the base of some very steep cliffs and ledges. It was very scary to try and haul ass to the caves. We had to slide on our ass or our stomachs in a few spots. I lost my footing at one point and both my water and GPS went flying from my hands as I yelled "Fuck!" down my 20- or 30-foot decent. Luckily, my GPS didn't go anywhere and Sean (yeah, "swhorfe" has a real name) found my water. Later, I would slide down again, but not lose anything in the process. Surprisingly, despite my slides, my jeans were marginally dirty and I walked away pretty much unscathed with the exception of a 6" long, 2" wide scratch. Sean's pants ended up tearing, though that wasn't noticed until he got home.

Sean found the cave, and we had about 20 minutes of light left. It was incredibly dark in the cave. Though we brought rope with us, it appears the last visitor to the cache left some rope behind. There was also a second rope -- the original rope -- which looked kinda shady, but it worked well. We both didn't feel comfortable about dropping down into a dark cave, and we almost turned around. But we made it this far. Fuck it. I manned up and went down, though it took me a long time to make the mere 25' decline because it was impossible to see my footing. I also didn't want a bear or something to eat me. But I figure if there was a cache down here, there wouldn't be a bear. Conversely, if there was a bear down here, there wouldn't be a cache.

Once I got down there, Sean came down after me. We only had one flashlight between us, and when Sean had it, he found the cache quickly. It wasn't covered up at all. That's a really good thing, because after what kind of hike we had, the damn thing better glow in the dark or play music or some shit. We signed it and put it back. No time to explore the contents. We were running out of light.

We had less than 10 minutes of light by this point. Our goal was to make it to the "summit" before it got dark. It took some time to scale the cliffs back up. We each had things in both of our hands. It also didn't help that Sean nearly lost his digital camera attempting to scale the cliffside. It escaped his grip and rolled by me into the thicket. It was a quick find, however.

Once we reached the top again, darkness set in. There's a sign in the parking lot stating no visitors from dusk until dawn. Ha. We didn't really have a choice, now did we?

Anyhoo, at this point, all we had was a GPS and one flashlight. Luckily, the flashlight is one of those ones you shake and not a battery-powered one, so we didn't have to worry about that dying on us. But the problem we faced is that... well, first of all, it was fucking pitch black and we were on a damn mountain top 1.1 miles from the pickup truck. The trail comes and goes, so who knew if we were heading in the right direction. Also, who knew what sort of marsupials and other furry creatures live in these woods wanting to eat us. It also would have sucked that because of the complete lack of lighting, one of us twisted an ankle or something. It's amazing how much you miss the sun when it ain't around anymore. I also lost my water somewhere up here. And Sean didn't bring any with him because he lacks sweat glands or something.

I don't know how the hell Sean did it, but he lead the expedition down the mountain. There were a couple points where we inadvertently lost the trail, but we found it again fairly quickly. What's funny is that I was the one holding the flashlight, and I aimed it at the back of his knees most of the way down, so he was finding the trail without much (ok, any) lighted assistance. He claims to have 20/15 vision. I think he might be part of a government project and had his eyes augmented with nightvision. Either that or he's an X-Men member.

From the summit to the midpoint, you travel in one direction. From the midpoint to the parking lot, you travel in another. There's a geocache near the midpoint. Though we didn't seek it out, I did have the coordinates to it, in case we had time to look for it. This greatly minimized the amount of bushwhacking we had to do. I don't think we did any bushwhacking, actually. We had to back up at a couple points, but it wasn't too bad. Once at the midpoint, I changed our course and we ended up taking a different trail back to the lot than the one we used to get to the midpoint initially.

Had I had to do this hike alone, I would probably have freaked out significantly more so than I did last night. Actually, I would have been smart enough to save this series of caches (there's four in the area) for a weekend. :) Clearly, the trek back down took a long time, but it wasn't too bad. The only animals we spotted was a beaver in the pond on the way up, and there was a frog on a ledge in the cavern I noticed as I slowly repelled down. But otherwise, no bears. No wolves. No marsupials.

Though this story is fairly descriptive, I still think it pales to what we actually did. What we did was pretty fucking scary, and mere words written on this farce of a website cannot do it justice. We knew we were in trouble when sunset hit on the summit. We could have easily turned away before that happened. In fact, we probably should have. It's an amazing feat that neither of us got seriously hurt sliding down the cliffs, or twisted something on the descent. It defies all odds that Sean was able to see the trail as well as he did in the dark with a flashlight aimed at his back. I surely couldn't have done it.

This cache was hard. Wicked fucking hard. Let's see you do it in the dark.

Pussy. News Teaser

Found It! September 28 by Max Jerome (231 found)
A full right-up is coming later. Here's a quick clif notes version:

- We got there late. Not sure what time exactly. 6ish I would say.
- It was a longer hike than we (swhorfe and I) anticipated.
- By the time we reached the "summit," we had about 30 minutes before it would be dark.
- There was a lot of sliding down cliff sides and losing personal objects.
- swhorfe found the cave. The cave was scary dark, but I manned up and went in first. :)
- swhorfe found the cache. His fifth I think, though he's logged in zero. :P
- We got up to the "summit" again before it got pitch black.
- We trudged back to the truck in the dark with my GPS and one flashlight. That was freaky.

It was a rush from beginning to end. Wish we had enough light to do the other caches, but I'll settle for the hardest one first. :)

This one was intense. Of the 231 I've found, this one was the most balls to the walls cache to date. More news and details coming later, but suffice to say, I'm not sure how we're still alive or how we made it home. Josh is online again.
Welcome. The internet missed you.

This is Josh. Without facial hair at the time.
He's funny.
Jarrod can be funny, too.
Chat logs courtesy of Jon.

Good times five years ago.

It's been five plus years already? That's insane. Tuesday Funnies

Limited Edition NH Barbies

Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the New Hampshire market:

Bedford Barbie:

This princess Barbie is only sold at exclusive Bedford stores. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.

Concord Barbie:

This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

Manchester Barbie:

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

Amherst Barbie:

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H3. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Laconia Barbie:

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she's drunk. Purchuse her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Loon Mountain Barbie:

This collagen-injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print ski outfit and drinks Cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the lodge. Optional Percocet prescription available.

Claremont Barbie:

This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gutted Ken out of Newport Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low rise acid washed jeans, fake finger nails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home and 8-track tape player.

Peterborough Barbie:

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow." She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Montpelier Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

Hanover Barbie:

This Barbie comes with her own mountain bike. Available with SUV, complete with kayak on the roof and dog in the back. Optional Ken doll also comes with his own mountain bike and dog.

Franklin Barbie:

This Barbie is only 14 and comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Sounds like my dream Barbie lives in Hanover, assuming her SUV is a hybrid. Now if I only knew where Hanover is...

Because the above is only funny if you know your New Hampshire towns, here's a second funny for those not "in the know:"

George Carlin's New Rules for 2006

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop fucking with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your webcam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." " He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

Coinage.
I like finding geocoins. They come in so many different shapes and styles. Way cooler than your typical hitchhiking travel bug. The only problem with geocoins, however, is that you can never find them. They are a rare species, as your typical coin will run you $10-$15 and everyone likes to find them. Sometimes, though, people will find them and keep them, even though it's not theirs to keep. We have at least one such asshole in Keene. Every time a new coin is introduced to the area, it's gone within the next day or two and he or she doesn't log their visit. Then someone like me goes out in the woods in hopes of finding this unique coin only to get slapped across the face because some douchebag stole it already. Makes everyone angry. I really hope my Canadian geocoin I have traveling the world doesn't fall to the same fate. It probably will. It's a $10 coin, after all. Though you can't really cash it in for anything. Except on eBay.

I did find a new unique coin Thursday. A BikeDog coin: Front. Back. Pretty spiffy.

I'd like to get some caching done today, but severe thundershowers threaten the area. But weather.com has lied to me so many times before, I'm not sure if I should trust their prediction. I initially wanted to trek into Vermont, but I may settle for finding the outlier caches on my way to my mother's. Then I'll mooch off the washer and drier, hopefully watch intriguing football, and maybe do some Henniker geocaching before it gets dark. We shall see. I'd really like to get to 250 by climbing Mount Monadnock two weekends from now. I got a lot of work cut out for me between now and then. It's getting harder now that it's getting darker sooner.

Remember when I was wondering if 200 would be possible? And 250 would be a stretch? Ha. I'm a superstar. Busy the last couple of days.
I got out of work early Friday to get my tux and go to the wedding rehearsal. Somehow, I managed to score the title of "usher," though I've only known Man Candy for a little over a year. Whatever. I'll take it. Anyhoo, that means I'm part of the wedding, so hence the wedding rehearsal. Then came the rehearsal dinner, of which I had so much food -- particularly strawberry cheesecake -- that it made me sad because I couldn't drink much. Ho hum.

Yesterday was the wedding day. It started off with lunch at Burger King with the groom. Then it was off to Olympia Sports to buy a frisbee and get some action shots in the empty parking lot nearby. He had a photographer following him all day. We made him work. :) No one really wants to see pictures of the actual wedding; they want to see me perform the quad skip. You know it.

The ceremony went well. I was sweating like a moose in my suit. That church needs air conditioning or something. Didn't help I was near the pedestal where people were doing their scripture readings from, and the light on the pedestal was throwing off some heat. Hmm.

The reception was decent as well. Nothing out of the ordinary from your typical wedding. Except for a tap dancing segment. I did a little rug cutting, but not much. Usually only when the ladies would invite me to join them. :) Seriously. Not bad for someone who only knew three people at the wedding. Keepin' my pimp hand strong.

I'd like the record to show that the bride has some hot college friends. Thumbs up.

I didn't take any photos, but there were plenty taken by others. Once they come in, hopefully I'll be able to share some with you all.

Yessa.

Congrats Chris Mitchell and Elizabeth Hamshaw. Have fun on your two-week escapade through Scandinavia and Russia. Watch out for Communists. Behold the power of high-def
So I broke down and got my television of epic leetness^TM this past Sunday. I've been planning such a purchase for a while. With winter soon arriving, it became necessary for me to get a television. Though I was aiming more closer to a Christmas launch, changes being made to my employee discount at my place of part-time work have forced me to get it before they take effect.

Because of the size of my living room (aka "wicked small"), getting a tube TV would have consumed most of my living room. While this might have been cool if I was getting a huge projection television, those things are too cumbersome and there was no way I was gonna be able to get one into my apartment. I also figure that I won't be living in my apartment forever -- perhaps upgrading to something bigger once I make more money -- so something I could move on my own in my car would be better. So I decided to go with an LCD. I found myself staring at them a lot as I work on Sundays.

If I was willing to drop a ton of money on an LCD, I wanted to future-proof it as much as possible. That's why the one I got is both an HDTV, 1080p, and has an HDMI connection. I decided to go with a 32" model because anything smaller and I might as well just get a tube TV. It's about as high as LCD's go, too. Anything bigger is typically a plasma TV, and I don't want an obscene electric bill or excessive heat emitting from the TV (LCD's vs plasmas chart). I was also quite partial to the silver look, as it would blend better in my apartment. Most LCD's we carry at that size are black. They are typically widescreen by default; perfect for movie-watching.

I eventually settled on a Magnavox 32MF231D. It has everything I was looking for and a decent number of inputs in the back without annihilating my checking account. I also got a Phillips DVP5960 DVD player, which matches the TV. It has high-def upconversion capabilities, an HDMI connection, and a USB port on the front. This thing can play DivX-compressed movies, too. So I could theoretically download video content online, throw it on a flash drive, and watch it on the big screen! That's fucking sweet. I can also throw a bunch of pictures on a disc or whatever and do a little slideshow action.

I also got a surge protector to plug everything into and an HDMI cable to run between the TV and the DVD player. I then picked up a cheap stand at a local general merchandise retailer. Not WalMart. WalMart can hum on my nuts.

The speakers are pretty decent on the TV, and are more than ample from the distance I'll be watching it from. I may pick up some floor speakers later down the road, but that requires a receiver and they don't make a cheap receiver with an HDMI connection on it. There's probably a cheaper alternative or another way to hook everything up, but I'm no home theater expert. I'll figure it out later.

Anyhoo, I got the TV to play movies primarily and give me a reason to use my living room. It's been a barren wasteland for months. Now, it's worth visiting. And my setup plays movies beautifully. I may consider getting basic cable now, just to see what this high-def television hoopla is all about. People will be flocking to watch the football playoffs at my shanty.

That's right. I can officially entertain people now. If they like cinematic adventure, that is. Or cable, should I decide to go that route eventually.

I bet next-gen console systems like the Playstation 3 and XBox 360 would look sweet on this TV. My TV.

How about some photos?

My living room in February.

Eventually, I scored a free love seat and a $10 coffee table. You can see them in live action video! They blend well with their surroundings.

Since that video, I took out the air conditioner, set everything up, and this is what it looks like right now. I still got some wire management to do and a big box to do something with. The TV isn't centered, but neither is the couch. I need to be able to get into the bedroom, after all. I think it looks better this way than if I had the love seat where the TV is and vice-versa. It kinda separates the living room from the rest of the apartment. Plus, I can watch TV as I cook.

From the sit-down position. It looks golden because it's heavenly. Really.

It's so thin! Has a weight of about 30 pounds, so I can move it from room to room if I'm so inclined.

My DVD player's USB port. Oh, the fun I can have with this!

On with the movie! You can see my feet in the darkness. The reflection off of the coffee table doesn't deter from movie-watching. Tuesday Funnies

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.

With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy.

The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again.

The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.

Swoooop! Two arms pops out! The bar goes wild.

The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again.

The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair.

By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it.

Swoooop! Two legs pop out.

The bar is in chaos.

The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.

The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left... Then to the right... Right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.

The bar falls silent.

The father moans in grief.

The bartender sighs and says... "He should have quit while he was a head!"

I hate puns. More proof that I am the funniest motherfucker ever.
Kinda old, but I noticed it was copied and pasted into Jeff's IM profile:

Jeff: allt he hot girls are with fugly looking dudes well where are ours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: waiting to be bought from russia
Jeff: hahahahah you are the funniest mutha fucker on the planet
Me: clearly
Me: and possibly the sexiest, too

"Up high, down low, or behind the back?"
Pretty quiet around here. I've been keeping busy, however.

I'm not entire sure what I've been doing, though. Watching my money disspiate into the atmosphere every day, pretty much. It's not cheap to be Jerome this past week. Food. Clothes. Bachelor party for "Man Candy" Mitchell. Alcohol. And it's only going to get worse in the next week or two: Many bills. Gasoline. Tuxedo. Beer. Mitchell's wedding. Hopefully a new LCD HDTV (and the necessary components to go with it) to complete my otherwise pointless living room.

And it's all worth it.

Thought about doing some hiking today, but it doesn't look like that's gonna happen. Didn't get home 'til 4 AM last night, so my internal clock is all out of whack. That's unfortunate, because this is probably the last warm Saturday this year. Tuesday Funnies

Trays up!

An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food
and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvin has asked me to announce that he'll be
landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those
big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a princess. I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Bitch."

Victory is (currently) mine!
Turns out I needed one more to tie. I did so today. I also padded my lead a little by finding five others. The next couple weeks are not going to be geocaching-heavy, so I'm not comfortable with my small lead. However, there's still plenty of caches I have easy access to should I have ground to make up. I don't think he's gonna strike back with a vengeance any time soon (he's only found one cache since the tourney), but he theoretically could if he catches wind of my secret race.

I did run into a cacher (or cachers if you count her dog) today. It was she who has riddled the nearby landscape with 100+ caches in one year's time. I think she hides caches almost as often as I find caches! Nice person, though. She was out to get one of her dogs his 300th find. 300! For a dog! I wonder if that will eventually be a new goal: to out-cache a "pugaso" (1/2 pug 1/2 lhasa apso). So far, not so good. :P Anyhoo, it was nice to finally meet someone(s) whose name shows up a lot in my area of caches. Conversely, it was wicked cool to meet a cacher who recognized my name from the site as well. :) I've tied "that guy."
... though after a quick shower and some apartment maintainence (dishes), I'll head to my mother's. I'm hoping I can bag a few new caches after I arrive, and therefore reclaim my lead.

Got 12 so far today. Ties my record. Found the first six in a row without issues. Then people started waking up and it made urban cache hunting a little bit rougher. I figure that's the secret to a big numbers run: find the urban ones early in the morning when no one is around and end your day in the woods, where you're unlikely to run into anyone anyway.

Update: I'll take my lead tomorrow, assuming "that guy" didn't do some caching today as well. I'm a sucker for The History Channel when I go "home;" I watched a few hours of Modern Marvels tonight. Those Dutch are insane with their levees! Frisbee Pics Redux
My buddy Sean is having a picture-taking and video-recording fetish as of late. He decided to whip out the camera today and take a bunch of pics at lunch and during frisbee time and whatnot. I figure I'd share a few frisbee pics since I seem to have been getting more comfortable with my (for lack of a better word) "appearance." Normally, I can't stand looking at pics of myself. Not sure why exactly. But I've been more tolerant with them lately. But anyhoo...

The redhead is Chris "Man Candy" Mitchell, who has his own site as well. He's also my unofficial second geocaching sidekick, Sean being my primary sidekick.

* Mitchell is good with the between-the-legs catches.
* I rock out the behind-the-back catches, though it's unclear if I caught this one or thought I was Captain America.
* Grondin with the grab.
* Mitchell gets some height.
* Mitchell looking gay.
* About a foot off from a gem of a catch.
* This one is totally going into my hand.

Frisbee pics from 5+ years ago can be found on this site as well. Football starts Thursday.

Jon: R U E 4 Σ football?
Me: oh snap
Jon: too nerdy?
Me: just a bit

I had my fantasy football draft with the $50 buy-in Saturday night. Here's to hoping Larry Johnson and Willie Parker carry me to the finals! Tuesday Funnies

The Brothel

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good-looking man in his late 40's or early 50's.

"May I help you?" she asked.
"I want to see Valerie," the man replied.
"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam.
"No. I must see Valerie," was the man's reply.
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one-hundred Dollar bills, gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Valerie.
Valerie explained that none had ever come back two nights in a row -- too expensive -- and there were no discounts. The price was still $1,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie questioned the man. "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked.

The man replied, "South Carolina."
"Really," she said. "I have family in South Carolina."
"I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance."

The moral of the story is that there are three things in life that are certain:

1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer

Cookin'
Funny how last year I spent every BBQ holiday (Memorial Day, Independence Day, and Labor Day) with the same friend partaking of alcohol and free food at her house and family functions. This year, however, I didn't go to any BBQ's (unless you want to count my cameo appearance at my place of part-time work Memorial Day). That's mainly because I wasn't invited anywhere, but even if I was, it would have been pretty hard to tear me away from my quest to use billion-dollar satellites to locate worthless plastic containers in the woods. Like this past Memorial Day and the 4th of July, this Labor Day was no different.

I didn't really try to find a ton of caches. I just wanted to be outside, I guess. I've been hitting more terrain-challenging caches this past week instead of going on a numbers run. Quality over quantity. I reached 200 today on Northfield Mountain. It wasn't as exciting as when I reached 100. Probably because I went from 100 to 200 in 75 days. It took me five years to go from 1 to 100. :p I'm also not sure if Northfield Mountain should be considered a mountain. It's 1100 feet from sea level. I barely broke a sweat.

But anyhoo, yeah. 200 plus. 250 before I call it quits for the year will be easy. Maybe I should strive to reach 500 some time next year? That could be pretty hardcore since I've bagged most of the local caches.

I ended my day at Tully Dam practicing my frisbee golf putting skills. I'm thinking of buying a portable disc golf basket and then I can just set it up in one of Keene's multitude of parks and go to town. Anyway, I think those metal chains on the baskets really cut into my discs more than hitting a tree does. Hmm. Also, I couldn't rescue me sunken disc, but I did find a frisbee on the other side of the dam. I scooped it up. It's kinda worn, but it's free, so I can't complain. :) Goose Pond Fun!
Courtesy of Sean Whorfe's camera and YouTube's bandwidth. Check out the post below for a little backstory.

Goose Pond Island Cache 1: the conundrum and the swearing.
Goose Pond Island Cache 2: we built a bridge with a few heavy logs.
Goose Pond Island Cache 3: a pointless video of us on the bigger island.
Goose Pond Island Cache 4: a little overgrowth action. "And my shoes fell off!"
So there we were, me and my main geocaching sidekick, at Goose Pond (panoramic) immediately following work. There was a cache located on the bigger of two islands in the pond. We made our quick trip around the pond to where the islands were. And then we freaked out because the water was deeper than it looked, it smelled like ass, and it was murky as hell. Were we going to give up on this hike? Almost. Turns out we didn't. We stared at the very short expanse we had to cross for an eternity. Then, we took our socks and shoes off and tried to come up with a way across.

Our first idea was to cross using the already submerged logs leading to the smaller island. That wasn't happening.

Our next idea was to find a shallow spot and just run through the water. Water levels were deceptive, and we were too much like pansies to just friggin' do it. It smelled really bad, too.

So then we built our own bridge by using large logs and sticks laying around near the trail. We carried those barefoot over several tree roots and other trail obstacles and threw them into the river. We got them into position near the sunken slimy logs, made a walking stick, and crossed it.

Unfortunately, it feels like I really paraphrased what happened, because a lot of time passed between when we got to the crossing point and when we actually made it across. We were like the Army Corps of Engineers out there, foraging what we could to make a solid crossing over 20-25 feet of water.

Truth is, we probably could have just ran across, but decided to make things much more difficult for ourselves. On the plus side, we were pretty dry.

Of course, this all only brought us to the small island. The cache was on the other (bigger) island. We were worried about crossing onto the bigger island, still barefooted of course, since the logs between those islands were even slimier and the distance to travel was even greater. Then it turned out that it was shallow and clear enough in spots that you didn't need anything to cross. It was like rocky beach sand in spots.

Once on the bigger island, we followed the highly overgrown trail to the clearing and went straight for the cache. It appears no one has been on this island in eons. Found the cache pretty quickly, surprisingly.

Getting back from the small island to the main land was humorous, as my buddy fell in the water when the walking stick broke on him.

We dried off, put our socks and shoes back on, then hiked around for a while before heading back home. There's a second cache in the area that we'll have to save for another day.

Picture time!
* The small crossing point we were afraid to cross
* Overgrowth on the big island was above our waists
* Goose Pond from the big island
* Near the cache. A distant ass shot for the ladies.