Hold me!
I hit an unusual low late last night and early this morning. I'm not really gonna get into details, but I felt I could have benefited from a hug or something. I really thought everything was gonna turn around when I got a call from a coworker this morning:

Coworker: Has anyone told you today that they love you?
Me: Well, no, actually...
Coworker: ...well, you might wanna look into that.

[click]

Ooh, burn.

She had my hopes up for a few seconds. But I know she verbally abuses me -- usually in excess -- because she loves me. :)

That's ok, though. I would later get the affirmation I was looking for when swhorfe professed his love to me, completely unprovoked. Probably because he has a "man crush" on me. But hey, beggars can't be choosers, eh? Tuesday Funnies
Future Tuesday Funnies available for a mere five dollars. Sure, I'm profiting off the jokes of others, but think of the cabin air filter, people! It's not gonna pay for itself!

IT Department

Two IT guys were talking in a bar after work. "Guess what," says the first IT guy, "I met this gorgeous blonde in a bar."

"What did you do?" says the other IT guy.

"Well, I invited her over to my place, we had a couple of drinks, we got into the mood and then she suddenly asked me to take all her clothes off!"

"You're kidding me!" says the second IT guy.

"Nope." says IT guy one. "I took her miniskirt off, and then I lifted her up and put her on my desk, next to my new laptop."

"Really?" asked the second IT guy. "You got a new laptop?"

Wonder if he got Vista... OMG TABLE TAGS
I dropped off my car yesterday so I could finally get the inspection done on it. The month is almost over... I can't really afford to procrastinate any longer. Also, my car has a little over 60,000 miles on it, and according to my maintenance guide, I needed like every filter in the car replaced, as well as some other miscellaneous junk. I want to keep my car in tip top shape -- I've only owned two cars in my life -- so I was willing to do everything the guide recommended I should do. Unfortunately, I'm car retarded, so I can't really do anything myself nor did I know how much to expect to pay. My car insurance company, however, lists on their website the same maintenance guide information that I have in printed form. As a bonus, they also list the price of the parts and how much I should expect to pay in labor.

Something went horribly awry, however, when I was given an estimate by where I dropped off my car. I've dropped it off there before, and seeing how I have a buddy that knows people that work there, I didn't really feel like they'd screw me over, but there are very large discrepancies as to what I expected to pay and what I was billed. I really wonder if my insurance company's site fucked up or if I was screwed over badly by the shop. The numbers weren't even close in some cases:

oil and filter change	$31.45	$19.99
tire rotation	$15.00	$9.00
replace cabin air filter	$50.00	$80.25
change automatic transmission fluid	$44.32	$129.99
replace air filter	$17.70	$51.40
replace fuel filter	$42.50	$62.75
SUBTOTAL	$200.97	$353.38
state inspection	---	$19.99
replace front brake pads	---	$99.95
replace front brake rotors	---	$154.98
supply charge	---	$24.83
TOTAL	LOL	$653.13

Wow. And I mailed my rent check two days ago.

I really wonder how much of this stuff I can do on my own. I was averaging about $40 in labor per non-oil filter. The transmission fluid cost wasn't even in the same ballpark. And it really killed me that during the inspection, they determined my front brakes were junk. Ouch.

I wonder if I really needed to get some of those filters changed. I'm sure most people just ignore their guide.

I'm still waiting on getting my $350 check for winning fantasy football. It'd come in really handy right about now.

Did I mention I don't own a credit card? Good thing that I pad my bank account enough for contingencies like this. I've paid less for each accident I was in! And this time around, my car wasn't even fucking broken! This was all just maintenance! What the hell... I am the search engine.
I'm kinda pressed for time, so I'm just gonna copy and paste my geocaching log entries that I did today:

Found It! January 28 by Max Jerome (287 found)
Finally...

I've lost count as to how many times I have attempted to find this cache, only to be scared off by muggles. Sometimes, it was people just sitting in their car in the parking area. Sometimes, people would be walking or playing nearby. If they didn't get me, residents and/or dogs on the other side of the fence would blow my cover. The cache itself wasn't hard to find, it's just near impossible not to get caught by others.

I got to it today, 6:30 in the morning after an inch of snow has fallen. Not too many people to get in my way at that time. :)

TNLN. Didn't sign log 'cause I forgot the pen in the car and I didn't want to run late for work. Thanks.

I really hate that cache. I hope that one gets stolen. Its location is horrible. It is way too close to other people's backyards for me to be comfortable poking around. It's on the edge on a decent sized park, so if the residents weren't spotting me, people walking around the trails or kids playing on various metal or wooden structures were. I also don't care for any cache located 100 feet or less from where I park. That's fucking lazy.

Found It! January 28 by Max Jerome (288 found)
I loved this puzzle! It wasn't too hard, but it did take me and a muggle friend about 75-90 minutes to figure out. I ran into a snag with the date and the rotor start positions but my buddy was smart enough to read the help files and whatnot. :)

The cache itself wasn't tough to find, though I wasn't 100% sure where I could park. T'was my first snow-covered cache! Epic. TNLNSL. Thanks!

This one was my favorite geocaching puzzle to date. It wasn't so difficult that I'd give up immediately, but it was engaging enough for me to work through it for the better part of an hour-and-a-half. I'm not sure I would have solved it on my own, but Jon got through my key stumbling block (the rotor start positions) -- as well as picking up on a date error I made -- allowing me to get the final code, translate it over from German, and make the find some time after I got out of work.

2 for 2. 12 more to 300.

On a similar note, my Canadian geocoin somehow made it to California a couple months ago. I'm pretty impressed it hasn't been stolen yet. It went to various parts of Southern New Hampshire to Massachusetts then straight to Cali. Woo.

Jon: oh man, I was sure you would have left something in the enigma cache
Me: i donated some sperm
Jon: heh
Me: that came out (so to speak) not only because i found the cache, but because i had to park at a day care
Jon: ha!
Me: that's funny... i'm copying and pasting this, too

Ya standin' in line
Believin' the lies
Ya bowin' down to the flag
Ya gotta bullet in ya head...

With the recent discovery that Rage Against the Machine was going to reunite and perform at Coachella, I immediately sought out others that may be interested in acquiring tickets to that show. I was disappointed to come up with only one person willing to head out to California for the show, but one is all I needed.

Tickets went on sale this afternoon, and I was on Ticketmaster the second they were available. Unfortunately, it appears I still wasn't fast enough to get a Day 3 pass. A three-day pass was available for $250, but I barely recognized anyone in the line-up. I only really want to see Rage, who was headling Day 3.

We (Jon and I) found Day 3 tickets on another site for almost double the price (one-day pass was $86; we found some for $140 each). I wasn't ready to drop that kind of money, especially when you figure out hotels and airfare and how we'd probably be so far back that we'd need binoculars to see the band. Maybe I'll get the concert DVD when that comes out.

What really pissed me off was seeing eBay auctions for tickets before Ticketmaster officially sold out. How dare scalpers "wait in line" for tickets just to turn a quick profit. It doesn't bother me when they do this for new video game console systems when they come out because the manufacturers will continue to make the system for years, but a concert is a one-time event that cannot be replicated or relived. Once it happens, it's over. Scalping an event is bullshit. It'd be nice if there was a way to filter out scalpers for something like this so that all of the "real fans" can enjoy the show.

Hopefully Rage will do more shows... perhaps even a tour. It'll be easier for me to splurge for inflated ticket pricing if they perform in New York or Boston.

I'll just get an EZLN flag shirt for now. So cold.
Now I think I know what a heroin addict on withdrawal feels like.

I think yesterday was the coldest day we've had so far in my part of New Hampshire; the high was a mere 10 degrees, and it felt like -6 degrees or so. It was quite ridiculous. When bowling plans fell through, I didn't seek out new entertainment last night. It was too fucking cold for me to want to go anywhere.

Unfortunately, I didn't really want to be in my apartment, either. It's cold there, too. Though I try and skimp on the heat when I can, even cranking it didn't make my bedroom any warmer. The window there throws off a lot of cold air. It also doesn't help that heat rises and my ceilings are about eight feet high. If I want to be warm, I need to stand on a chair. :p

I slept last night on my love seat (for the first time). The living room window is better insulated, and the heater is very close by. Seemed to have worked out ok. Sunshine
I haven't noticed until today, but I like it not being dark out immediately after leaving work at 4:30. The sun doesn't officially set until 4:52 today! Isn't that exciting? The days are getting longer, spring is almost here, and I look forward to getting lost in the woods again. Now if it wasn't so cold...

On a completely unrelated note, porn bread anyone? I'll give you a penis pretzel for each person you manage to get addicted to my shitty site! It's got hyper-fast scrolling!
To add to the whole WoW thing (which sells like hotcakes), one of the reasons I haven't bothered to try it out -- aside from the possibility that it may destroy my life -- is that I'm a cheap motherfucker who doesn't want to shell out $15 a month to play it. For $10, I probably would. $15? It quickly adds up. I'm always leery of subscription-based expenses. PSU was a mere $10, but sucked. Asheron's Call was $10 when I was playing it (and I turned a nice profit selling in-game items). Neocron? 10... free during the extensive beta testing I used to do for it. That's my personal limit.

What's hilarious is that I consider five dollars to be a lot, yet at the same time, I'm seriously contemplating purchasing a $100 mouse. The MX Revolution is sick! It doesn't appear to be good for gaming (review), but we have one on display at my part-time job, and it feels so slick that I just gotta have one. $100 MSRP for a mouse is pretty silly, but at least it isn't a $24,000 mouse.

I'm probably gonna need a headset, too, if I hang with my boys from my part-time place of employment. That doesn't bother me either. It'll probably set me back around 30 bucks.

Funny how I'm quite liberal with one-time purchases and so close-to-the-vest with subscriptions. I dropped close to a grand on a sweet TV and the things to go with it, yet I won't pay to get cable. Heh. Tuesday Funnies

REDNECK PICKUP LINES

1) Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

2) Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.

3) My love for you is like diarrhea .. I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

6) If you and I were squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

7) You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!" Woman - "WHAT?" Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

9) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

11) Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

13) Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

They butchered one of my pick-up lines: "Good thing I have my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out!" Hope you like reading.
Haven't written in a while. I figure I might as well. I'm sure you're all concerned about my well-being. Or did some sort of foot or ankle search and ended up here. For the latter, here are pics of my ruined ankle back in July.

I'm not sure if much has changed since the last time I wrote. I've been kept rather busy, but nothing particularly noteworthy.

I didn't get plastered this past weekend, though I'm hoping some drunken bowling will be in the works this coming weekend and drunken bar hopping the weekend after that. We shall see. I find it hard to organize anything with anyone over here. Being an independent no-baggage-attached male, I can easily accommodate for others, but I can't for the life of me get people to leave their boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse or kid for a night of painting the town red. I love to binge, but I'm no social butterfly; I can't just waltz into a bar alone and not want to leave ten seconds later. But I digress. This is about the past, not the future.

Jon: you're gonna have babies in less than 2 years
Jon: that's my prediction

Played cards online most of Friday night with Jonny Confidence.

Didn't really do anything Saturday. It was too cold and windy to want to leave my place. I ended up launching a full-scale multi-theater cleaning war in my apartment, mopping and vacuuming and washing everything in sight. It was long overdue, but it wasn't too bad because I'm neater than most. Unfortunately, I couldn't crack open a window to get the cleaning products smell out, so I got a little light-headed towards the end of it all. At least I wasn't playing with bleach as well. That would have been bad.

I found two-year-old tickets to a Monarchs hockey game and to Lewis Black in my leather jacket late Saturday. They were well hidden in a pocket I forgot my jacket had. Wow, the nostalgia. My former "best friend" (still not sure wtf happened, but that's women for ya) is a season ticket holder, and I went to a couple games with her. The game happened before this site came back live, so I don't have the benefit of knowing if January 19, 2005 was the day she convinced me to call out of work sick and go to the game with her. That in some ways was a pivotal day for me, because my sense of duty is so great that calling out sick is something I refuse to do, even if I'm actually sick. It took a couple hours of coaxing, but I did eventually call out saying my car wouldn't start that cold winter night. I think that was the only time I lied to get out of work. Good game, though, if I remember correctly. Which I probably don't.

Jerome: girls are pieces of paper, meant to be used up, written on, then tossed aside
Me: lol!
Me: i gotta quote that
Jerome: well, if you put it anywhere on your website, perhaps you could sign me "anonymous"
Me: i'll just quote it [as] myself, since everyone else steals my shit
Jerome: sounds good

You can get the general gist of the Lewis Black show reading old logs on this site already. I was gonna go halves on tix with the same "best friend" mentioned above, but she bailed and I invited my mom instead. At the last second, she was available to go again, but I wasn't gonna ditch my mom for a friend I hang out with very frequently (at the time). My mom thought it was silly that I would rather go with "an old broad" than "a cute girl," but I figure I never do anything with my mom ever and the other woman had her chance. Heh. She's funny.

About a month ago, I quit Phantasy Star Universe cold turkey. People were starting to say I was "addicted," (addicted in six weeks of play? Ha!) but my stubborn refusal to be addicted to anything made me kick the game to the curb. That and the complete grind-fest and lack of content. :p

Everyone and their mothers play World of Warcraft, and I have several parties trying to seduce me into their ranks. I'm now starting to give it some serious thought, as a large number of people at my part-time job play. I love the comradarie. A new expansion was released recently, so a lot of them are making new characters, so I'd be able to hang with them if I act quickly. Hmm. I'm worried about this game claiming what life I've managed to put together over the last year or so, though. You may never see me again!

In a recent survey at my part-time job, almost everyone guessed my age to be 24, if not younger than that! I love it. As long as I continue to get carded for beer, I'm not gonna feel old.

Lots of football watching on Sunday. Both teams I wanted to see make it the Super Bowl lost. Now, I don't really care anymore. The Bears don't deserve to be in there because Rex Grossman is a horribly inconsistent quarterback, and I don't want to see the Colts win because every analyst masturbates to Peyton Manning and his accomplishments. It was nice for a few years to watch the Patriots own them postseason after postseason, but I wouldn't be surprised if the country as a whole is tired of seeing the Pats in the big game.

I haven't made a snowball all winter long. What the hell.

Rage Against the Machine is coming back, fucker! Though many people would think Garbage (all hail Shirley, the only person ever to awe-struck me) tops my list of favorite bands of all-time, I would probably have to give that award to Rage. My Top 5 ranking is very blurry.

That's all I have for now. More to come later.

Me: http://www.getafirstlife.com/
Jon: fornicate using your actual genitals
Me: w00t

Tuesday Funnies

Measuring

Bubba and Ray (Tennessee mechanical engineers) were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.

Ray shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a blonde? We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"

Ha! Frunkus!
Hey now.

So my birthday turned into a four-day extravaganza: Wednesday through Friday, and then this past Sunday. It wasn't as grandiose as, say, the Roman coliseum games that would go on for months, but I'm sure the Romans would consider me as being in the same elite club as their former emperors and whatnot. I guess there was gonna be a big (extended) family get-together this past Sunday in celebration of my greatness, but shitty weather canceled those plans. That was fine, though, 'cause I really wasn't expecting anything. And football was on! :) We just had a quick gift giving session. And someone at my part-time job said "happy birthday" to me, too, which was really cool.

Pretty quiet start of the week thus far, though people are still talking about my awesomeness Friday night. I'm becoming legendary.

Got my car registered today. That wasn't particularly fun, but I saved $40 compared to last year. Whee. I still have to get inspected, tuned up, the recall thing taken care of, and the suspension looked at. I'll get to it when I'm done procrastinating.

Sean's girl has a geocaching account. Maybe the two of them combined can reach my total, 'cause Sean will never ever pass me. For those keeping track at home, she is the third person that managed to get suckered into the hobby that can be traced back to me: him, her, and a relative of his. I'm spawning a local cult! I got messed up.
I liked it a lot.

Well, not really. The liking part, that is.

By some unusual twist of fate, I was able to get my drink on yesterday with the help of a bunch of people I don't think I've ever hung out with outside of work. The ratio was totally in my favor, too; it started off as five ladies and myself (pimp!) and would later turn into eight ladies, myself, and another guy. So I really can't complain. For some reason, the ladies like to get me drunk. :)

The only real disappointment I felt what that I was drinking on an empty stomach; the get-together was immediately after work. While that meant I could get a buzz going more quickly than usual, it also meant that I had nothing to absorb what I was drinking. So my stomach decided to kick my ass after a few hours. I didn't drink much, either. Less than one hard drink an hour. Plus water. But I couldn't retain food once I was hungry. Sigh.

Once back in the comfort of my own apartment, I passed out almost immediately. I woke up at 2:00 in the morning perfectly fine. Well, I was thirsty and my stomach was queezy (go figure), but that was it. Nice and brief.

So I guess I achieved what I set out to do, with about 50% less alcohol! I'm a cheap date like that. Hope you have your party hats and party cake.
Copied without permission. I'm a jerk:

Josh: Happy birthday stud muffin. I bring no gift but I believe my loyal patronage of your blog should be a gift enough :) But seriously, happy B-Day Romeo
Me: hehe
Me: thanks cheif
Me: chief
Me: i will spare you of my wrath
Josh: Nice i enjoy being spared iof wrath
Josh: iof is a new word, in fact that is my gift to you, an entirely new word, made especially for you
Me: iof iof
Me: i like it
Josh: it is the high tech version of of, I am trying to sell it to apple as we speak
Me: you could start a new line of prodcuts
Me: iPrepositions
Me: fuck i can't spell either
Josh: ah but i know what you mean and it is fucking brilliant, that will be our edge, because they are misspelled, they will be propietary
Josh: everyone knows apple hates to share
Me: iBling bling
[...]
Josh: exactly, all the best rappers like Vanilla Ice and Snow will rock it

Not too shabby. I managed to get a number of emails and IM's and whatnot today. I'm a little miffed why some of the closer people have yet to praise my excellence, but all in all, I don't think I can really complain. Getting calls from family was a little bizarre: I called my mom since she called while I was at work. Two minutes after hanging up with her, my sister called. Like a minute after that, my dad called. And neither of them called while I was already on the phone. Perfect clockwork. I suspect after getting off the phone with one of them, they'd call the next person to remind them to call me. :P

I bought myself a hand vac as a birthday present. It was one of those things on my Christmas list I was hoping someone would get. Oh well. But now I can finally get those areas where the floors meet the walls. Fucking filthy. That and those 1/4" lips on all of my baseboards could use a little work. The rapture will soon come down on those unrepenting hairs and dirt particles.

Tomorrow night still doesn't look promising. That's ok, though. I'm starting to lose interest in the idea, actually. I may go to bed early and get lost in the woods on Saturday. We shall see. I really could use a good binging, though. You have one day left...
... to get your presents to me before you'll have to send me belated "happy birthday" cards and be filled with so much guilt that you throw yourself in front of a train. Hopefully the subway hero will be there to save your emo ass. Well, maybe. I guess it depends on how crappy the gift you didn't get me in a timely manner is.

I like having a birthday at the beginning of the year. It dictates whose birthdays I should celebrate for the rest of the year by who remembers mine. I can be an ignorant fuck like the rest of you deadbeats if I have to be. :P

On an unfortunate note, I'm having trouble finding someone(s) to get me hammered Friday night. I guess I can't blame them; it's a January night. I'd think with the above average temperatures and the fact that I'm the most epically awesome person ever, that would be enough reason to sway people to head out in the town with me. But alas, such is not the case. Sigh.

I did get cake and a card at work today. A day early, but I'll take it. Tuesday Funnies

Pigmy

A hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead wildebeest with a pygmy standing beside it. Amazed, he asked, "Did you kill that?".

The pygmy said, "Yes."

The hunter asked, "How could a little bloke like you kill a huge beast like that?"

Said the pygmy, "I killed it with my club."

The astonished hunter asked, "How big is your club?"

The pygmy replied, "There are about 60 of us."

Cute. I know all the good places to hide the body.

Found It! January 6 by Max Jerome (280 found)
I couldn't pass up the opportunity to cache in 60-degree January weather. In NH, of all places. :D I could hear seagulls in the distance. I hope they know they're screwed if winter ever sets in.

This was a nice hike. I liked how my eTrex Legend's basemap was showing me crossing over water when in fact I was on land. Funny.

Fairly quick find. TNLNSL. Thanks!

Found six today. Was hoping for eight, but there's two local caches that have given me grief ever since they've been posted. What the hell.

Anyhoo, yeah, I went out in the woods this morning. Record high temperatures are hitting the northeast. The last couple days, it has been rainy and foggy and look more like a snow-free March day than an early January day. Our lows should be our highs. It's ridiculous. Global warming? I don't know, but the fact that I could have gone geocaching almost every day since Thanksgiving fills me with skepticism and glee.

I don't know if I'm willing to call this the beginning of my geocaching "season," since I'm still expecting to be stuck indoors playing video games for at least another two months. I don't have any geocaching goals finalized yet. So far, I'm leaning towards the following:

* Find 500 lifetime. If last year is of any indication, this will be an easy goal to reach.
* Hide more caches. I have three ideas mulling in my head.
* Cache in other states I haven't done so far. Maine? New York?
* Cache in Peru if the opportunity presents itself.
* Maintain my status as the guy with the most found caches living in Keene. There's six or so cachers. I trounce them all. For now.
* Make sure swhorfe never ever passes my total (his profile). One of his goals is to pass my total. He has 11 thus far, and he said initially he could do it by August. I LOL'ED AT HIS FACE!!!1! While he still has most of the local caches he can find to rapidly up his number, I don't have any outside forces (aside from work) dictating when and where I can cache. I also have the determination. And the skills. He's got nothing, really. :) He's still waiting for his GPS to show up in the mail, for Christ's sake. LOL!

It's gonna be an interesting year. I got something for you to deposit.
The last two times I have gone to the bank have been fairly amusing. I don't have direct deposit for either job. It's typically not worth me going to the bank with my one check each week. I like to go every other week. Went I went to the bank late December (not my usual bank), I walked in with three checks to deposit. They all came the same week, too, as I was paid for all of the sick time and vacation time I didn't use over the course of the year. The teller told me I should consider getting direct deposit. Ha. Today, I went to my usual bank with three checks and my usual (new stalker?) teller wondered why I come in with so many each time. I never considered three checks to be a lot of checks -- I get paid weekly at one job and every other week at my secondary job -- but my old stalker teller would run that shit through in no time flat. I don't ever do anything fancy, either. I just deposit them, usually without cash back. It's not a particularly time consuming procedure.

Why no direct deposit? I have many reasons:

* I have security issues with direct deposit. It might have been merely a coincidence, but I applied for direct deposit at my now-part-time job the same time my PayPal account got hijacked.

* It teaches you how to budget. Since I don't have access to the money right away, I can't blow it all on pussy and beer. At least not until I cash it, that is. ;) Sometimes, I get lazy and don't want to go to the bank, so I've adjusted my life so I'm not living paycheck to paycheck. Yay buffers.

* It feels like I've earned it when a check is handed to me. Yeah, I'd get a voided stub if I had direct deposit, but it's not the same.

* Perhaps the most important reason, the teller at the bank thinks I'm loaded and therefore yearns for my manhood.

* I like having a stalker teller. I wonder if my old stalker is doing ok without me. She probably slashed her wrists. That'd be a real shame. :( My news
I haven't had anything to report on since Christmas. It's been very quiet. I kinda like it like this every once in a while, though.

I didn't do anything New Year's Eve, as no one I knew was doing anything, either. Typically, I'll get an invite or two during that time of year. This year, I got zero. Hmm. Kinda hard to rock out the Tag body spray if I'm sitting in my apartment. That's ok, though, as freezing rain was in the forecast that night, and I consider New Year's to be a bit overrated. Wow. A new year. Zip a dee do! Time for all of the amateurs to have trouble holding down their liquor!

I ended up winning a cool $350 from playing fantasy football this year. That's first prize. What's also neat is that it didn't matter how the bracket was set up for the playoffs, I would have walked away the champion. I had the highest score all three weeks. In the final week, I had the highest score for my team that year. Ha. Ownage. I ended up coming in second in my no-money league, and it's funny to see that one personnel change out of a few I could choose from could have net me the title there, too. But that's ok. I'd rather win money. :D

I'm taking a different approach to my upcoming birthday this year. I like to see which people remember it's my birthday, but after last year's debacle, I'm making sure everyone I run into knows my birthday is next Thursday. Hopefully, I'll get better results. I'm not really looking for presents or anything, but I wouldn't mind getting some free drinks that coming weekend. :) Feel free to buy me shit, anyway. Yay stuff! Tuesday Funnies

Spanish Class

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House," for instance, is feminine, "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine, "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that ''computer'' should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:

1) No one but their creator understands their internal logic,

2) The language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else,

3) Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval, and

4) As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("El computador"), because:

1) In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on,

2) They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves,

3) They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem, and

4) As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

Note: The women won.