Niner
I don't have time to write much. Well, I guess I do, but I figure I'll be in bed before 8:00 hits. I'm so fucking beat.

The caching went as planned. We found 9 out of 10. It could have been more, but one trail was flooded from the winter thaw, and a "waypoint cache" was shattered beyond recognition. 11 would have been nice as that would have brought me to a cool 300, but oh well.

I won't be doing any caching tomorrow, despite me planning to leave work early.

My SARS is still acting up. My voice is completely shot. My nose is all fucked up. Strangely, I don't cough much. I'm gonna hit the NyQuil now and pass out. Down with the sickness
Ugh.

I'm pretty immortal when it comes to things that affect people's health. I'm rarely sick, and the only time I have ever physically injured myself was last July. I'm pretty sure my immortality will soon come to end -- I'm not getting any younger -- but until then, I laugh at health insurance. But anyway...

I think I'm coming down with something. I don't think it's the bird flu, but it could be SARS. Some time yesterday, I felt a tickle in my throat, and it didn't improve this morning. I had to hit the NyQuil and DayQuil bottles. I had to decline the frisbee time yesterday at lunch. And though I was really hoping to go out tonight (I have a lady hinting she has been wanting to go out for a while as well, so it would have been a win-win), I think I'm better off resting. Figures. Now that the cold weather is going away, now I'm stuck indoors because of sickness.

Caching will still happen tomorrow, however. South and East Milford are the targets. Sean wants to get back home for noon, so we'll be starting early. I'd like to get some afternoon caching done as well, but it's too soon to tell how sick I'll feel by then.

I was hoping #300 would be somewhere cool like the nearby Gap Mountain, but it's probably gonna be from some bitch-ass cache in Milford. Oh well. There are no real milestone numbers from now until 500.

Anyone wanna place a bet on whether I can double my finds (to 578) this year? I'm sure I can do 500 easy, but nearing 600 could be rough. Tuesday Funnies

Cowboy

An old cowboy went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences, and branding cattle so I guess I am."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women."

A little while later, a couple sat down next to the old cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

Interestingly, Kid Rock is playing as I post this. Not Cowboy, though. American Bad Ass. Kind of a "meh" song. The calm before the storm
Not much to write about this weekend. Each day was special in its own way.

Friday night drunken bowling didn't happen. People abandoned the plan one by one until all but I remained. But luckily, I had a backup: Sean's girl's belated birthday party. I scored some swordfish. It was pricey, but it was also yummy. Then I got myself tanked once I was home again. Hey, I only live once. :)

Didn't do anything Saturday, as the snow hasn't melted enough to make geocaching worth the effort. Next weekend, however, will be a completely different story. It's gonna be my Daytona 500 of geocaching (I never understood why the biggest race of the Nascar schedule is also the first). It's gonna be an epic display of tupperware hunting. Sean and I are drawing up battle plans. We have yet to choose a target, but I'm thinking Manchester or Milford, NH are ripe for the picking. There're a ton at both.

Sunday? Meh. I brought my GPS just in case, but they like scheduling me to work late there. At least I'll have Easter Sunday off, which also happens to be the only Sunday I'm guaranteed to have off each year. The only other would be if Christmas happened to land on a Sunday, too. Easter will be an epic caching run as well. I can tell already. In fact, I'm pretty sure every weekend will be epic, especially once I drop the Sunday work gig.

This upcoming week is gonna be really slow for me, as I'm just gonna be giddy every fucking work day wanting to go outside and do shit. Lunch time frisbee action temporarily quenches the thirst, but months of frustration of being cooped up indoors ultimately looms in the background. I'm gonna be fucking shit up.

Funny how much I love to be outside ever since I started caching. My pasty white skin would make you think otherwise. Whatever. Yeah whatever
My hits have dropped significantly. It takes me a month for what I used to do in two days. I'm not entirely sure what happened. I'm pretty sure most of my 50,000+ hits came from bots anyway. Either that, or people don't find me as amusing as they once did. Fair enough. I haven't written anything I consider to be funny in quite a while. And the winter months are easily my least active months out of the year. At least Christmas and my birthday fall during that time to break up the monotony.

Strangely, this past November and December were my biggest months. Hmm.

Oh well. At least I have epic drunken bowling to look forward to tomorrow night. Underage cleavage for the win! Getting creative
I've been toying for the idea for weeks to hook up a hard drive to my DVD player via USB (because it has such a port!) and just playing whatever movies I want from that. It's not that I can't be bothered with popping DVD's in and out of it. It's just that I find a lot of shit online and whatnot that I would rather watch on the big screen than on my 17" PC monitor. Sure, I have a flash drive capable of holding 1.5 gigs worth of shit, but sometimes it stutters during playback and I have to pause what I'm watching so that the video can catch up to the audio. It's getting a little old. Though I can't guarantee I won't run into the same problem with an external hard drive, I'm betting a typical hard drive has a bigger buffer and a less latency than your typical flash drive.

I don't want an external hard drive (per se) anyway. An enclosure would work better, and I can swap hard drives from it as my need dictates.

A typical hard drive enclosure allows you to store one or two internal hard drives into it and you transfer data to it through a USB connection. That's all well and good, but I want something that can also transfer wirelessly. That way, I don't have to keep moving the unit from my PC to my TV over and over again as I find new shit to watch. I'm not sure they make such a thing that works reliably and runs relatively quietly.

That's all I really want to do.

I've been considering making my own DVR (like TiVo) or home theater PC (HTPC). I haven't built a PC from scratch in a while, so in a sense I'm kinda intrigued to see what's new out there with technology that I can fiddle with. The HTPC would have to be something small, probably using a Shuttle case, yet powerful enough to use as an alternate or LAN party PC. I find the idea of making a DVR to be more interesting, as I have no fucking clue where I would start. I know it's possible, and I'm sure there are plenty of do-it-yourself guides online I could read, but I'm not sure if I could make such a thing run wirelessly. Aside from the remote control, of course. However, both ideas sound like they would cost me more money than I'm willing to spend.

So uh... anyone know of a good wireless USB hard drive enclosure? :p Tuesday Funnies

Coming Home

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, and I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, 'You as horny as I am?' And she always acts like she's sound asleep."

The Best Week Ever^TM...
...has been suspended for at least two weeks. The second half of this passing week wasn't special at all.

Fucking snow ruined everything. And even though I had up to four different possibilities as to how my Friday night could go, a fifth option, hanging out alone in my apartment, ended up winning out. I'm getting a little tired of that.

Next week's weather doesn't appear to reach 40 degree highs most days. Looks like I'll have to hope for warmer weather the week after that and the snow will go away so I can track mud all over the place while looking for ammo cans and tupperware.

Didn't really do shit today. Surprise. It's getting old.

We "only" got about six to eight inches of snow in my neck of the woods. Little bit of ice. I had trouble getting out of my parking spot because my landlord plowed a bunch of snow next to my car. What the hell.

On the plus side, I did manage to get some frisbee action every day at lunch time this past work week, rain and snow be damned. I ain't scared. It's a warning now.
Doesn't Spring officially start in a week?

...WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 10 AM THIS MORNING TO 12 PM EDT SATURDAY...

A WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 10 AM THIS MORNING TO 12 PM EDT SATURDAY.

A DEVELOPING WINTER STORM WILL MOVE UP THE COAST TODAY AND EARLY SATURDAY. THIS STORM IS EXPECTED TO MOVE ACROSS NARRAGANSETT BAY AND EASTERN MASSACHUSETTS SATURDAY MORNING. THIS WILL BRING A PERIOD OF HEAVY PRECIPITATION TO SOUTHERN NEW ENGLAND STARTING LATE THIS MORNING... CONTINUING INTO SATURDAY MORNING.

THE PRECIPITATION SHOULD BEGIN AS SNOW LATE THIS MORNING. PERIODS OF HEAVY SNOW ARE THEN POSSIBLE THIS AFTERNOON AND EVENING. TOTAL ACCUMULATIONS OF 8 TO 12 INCHES ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH TONIGHT FROM THE EAST SLOPES OF THE BERKSHIRES THROUGH THE CENTRAL HILLS TO SOUTHWEST NEW HAMPSHIRE. LOCALLY HEAVIER AMOUNTS UP TO 15 INCHES ARE POSSIBLE AS WELL.

THE SNOW WILL THEN CHANGE TO SLEET AND FREEZING RAIN LATE TONIGHT AND EARLY SATURDAY...BRINGING A THREAT OF ICE ACCUMULATION THROUGH THE MORNING. THE PRECIPITATION SHOULD THEN DIMINISH TOWARD MIDDAY SATURDAY.

A WINTER STORM WARNING IS ISSUED WHEN AN AVERAGE OF 6 OR MORE INCHES OF SNOW IS EXPECTED IN A 12 HOUR PERIOD OR FOR 8 OR MORE INCHES IN A 24 HOUR PERIOD. TRAVEL WILL BE SLOW AT BEST ON WELL TREATED SURFACES...AND QUITE DIFFICULT ON ANY UNPLOWED OR UNTREATED SURFACES.

I'm still playing frisbee at lunch. Fuck this.

Looks like my first slew of cache finds will have to wait yet another week, though it doesn't look like it won't be as warm most of next week. Sigh. Storm watch in effect

...WINTER STORM WATCH NOW IN EFFECT FROM FRIDAY MORNING THROUGH SATURDAY MORNING...

THE WINTER STORM WATCH IS NOW IN EFFECT FROM FRIDAY MORNING THROUGH SATURDAY MORNING.

CONFIDENCE IS INCREASING ON THE POTENTIAL FOR SNOW OR SLEET ACCUMULATIONS OF 6 INCHES OF MORE ACROSS SOUTHERN NEW HAMPSHIRE AND WESTERN MASSACHUSETTS FRIDAY AND FRIDAY NIGHT.

LIGHT SNOW IS EXPECTED TO DEVELOP TONIGHT AS COLDER AIR PUSHES SOUTH INTO OUR REGION. HOWEVER...THE HEAVIEST PRECIPITATION SHOULD BE SOUTH OF SOUTHERN NEW HAMPSHIRE AND WESTERN MASSACHUSETTS. THE WET GROUND SHOULD ALSO HELP TO LIMIT SNOW ACCUMULATION.

A DEVELOPING POWERFUL NOREASTER IS EXPECTED TO TRACK NORTH ALONG THE COAST FRIDAY INTO EARLY SATURDAY. THERE ARE SOME TRENDS THAT THIS TRACK MAY BE TOO CLOSE TO THE COAST...WHICH WOULD SHIFT THE LOCATION OF THE HEAVIEST SNOWFALL WEST AS WELL. THIS WILL NEED TO BE MONITORED OVER THE NEXT 24 HOURS.

A WINTER STORM WATCH IS ISSUED FOR THE POTENTIAL OF ACCUMULATING SNOW OF 6 OR MORE INCHES IN A 12 HOUR PERIOD OR 8 OR MORE INCHES IN A 24 HOUR PERIOD. ANYONE TRAVELING IN THE NEXT 24 TO 36 HOURS SHOULD MONITOR LATER FORECASTS AND BE PREPARED TO MODIFY TRAVEL PLANS SHOULD WINTER WEATHER DEVELOP.

No! This week was destined to be perfect in every way! Snow is for queers! I can't really cache in that shit.

How can this be? It's been 40 to 60+ degrees the last three days, and the more the snow has been melting, the more giddy I have been getting. Sigh. I don't want to spend another weekend indoors. :(

At least alcohol can help pass the time. Early week in review
This supposedly being the Best Week Ever^TM, I should probably describe how awesome Monday and Tuesday were. Unfortunately, they didn't turn out to be as super as I would have thought, but they weren't bad either.

I made the day of a coworker for being the first to wish her a happy birthday. I'm really big into celebrating birthdays. Rumor has it that as of end of work time Monday, no one in her family has wished her a happy birthday, or made mention of it over the past weekend. That's unfortunate. She seemed kinda emo most of the day if I wasn't around to give her (a ton of) shit or wish her well. Most of the former than of the latter. It's a very love-hate relationship we have going on. :)

Another lady seemed particuarly emo the last couple days. Much like a whore's pimp, I don't like to see my ladies sad. I haven't really done anything to correct this, but if she's still like this Wednesday, we're gonna have problems.

I have another favorite coworker's birthday this coming Friday. I don't really talk to her much since she transfered to another department, but since she's always got my back, as well as getting me the drunkest of all the ladies thus far, I'd like to do some celebrating Friday night with her. Or perhaps the other birthday and/or emo girl.

There's also a chance I may be doing some drunken bowling with one of my boys, since it will be his girl's birthday Sunday. Fucking a. I have a potentially busy Friday night. Four options!

I did some frisbee action the last couple days during lunch. I think I pulled an ass muscle on Monday's run. Guess I'm a bit rusty, though Mitchell and I did play a bit in a store parking lot this past Friday night.

The canker sore is just about gone. Yay!

I so badly want to cache. Tuesday Funnies

Woody had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and sees a huge, bearded man standing there.

"Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road... Having a holiday party Friday night... Thought you might like to come. About 5:00."

"Great," says Woody, "After six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you... There's gonna be some drinkin'."

"Not a problem," says Woody. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."

"Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks again."

"More'n likely be some wild sex, too."

"Now that's really not a problem," says Woody, warming to the idea "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"

"Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us."

Ah, Sunday.
I didn't like Sunday. I was hoping it would be the precursor of what I expect to be the Best Week Ever^TM (it's warming up!), but alas, Sunday has let me down.

My fucking cell phone sucks because I can't change the time on it. It knows where I am, and therefore knows what time it is. However, Daylight Savings Time occurred Saturday night going into Sunday, and it didn't update. I woke up an hour late for work. It's all my phone's fault, though I did set the wrong alarm on it and I woke up on my own exactly one hour late. :p

I didn't realize I was late at the time, as the clocks upstairs matched what it said on my phone. I would later learn that Mother didn't change her clocks last night; CNN and the Weather Channel were giving me different readings from those clocks. Then I was like, "fuck" and made a little more effort to get out the door a little quicker. It's not like my part-time job is gonna fire me for being late. :)

My cell phone's time would eventually update... at approximately 10 AM. What a whole hell of a lot of good that did for me.

What's funny is that I got there 40 minutes late but I finished my usual tasks about 30 minutes ahead of schedule. Unfortunately, I wasn't allowed to bail at the same time as the rest of the crew. They had me scheduled until 3:30, and they gave me work that they thought could be done by that time. They were way off. The last few weeks, I didn't have enough work and got out early. This Sunday, I stayed an extra hour and still had way too much to do. I knew it, too, going into it, and warned them of it. Oh well. I wasn't planning to go caching today, anyway.

I don't really like leaving projects half done, though. I wanted to get it all done though I knew there wasn't enough time for that to happen. But a part of me doesn't really care, as I get to leave my carts full of product out back in the warehouse with a note stating what I did and what still needs to be done and then let them worry about it. By the time I show up again in a week, they will have forgotten all about it. :)

Now, I'm so tired. Way past my bed time. Ah, Saturday.
I didn't do jack shit.

To be a little less vague, I played video games and did some spot cleaning. Not remotely thrilling. I continue to procrastinate on the errands I need to run, and it kinda cost me today. One such errand is to get a new pair of black jeans for my place of part-time work. Although I won't be there much longer, the black jeans I have are no longer good for the job. They are lighter than some of the gray clothes I own. It's pretty bad. I had to retire one pair because it had a hole where the right knee is. I need to get rid of the second pair because it has a hole in the crotch area. You can't really see it unless you're laying on the ground below me, but it continues to get bigger and I'm sure it'll cause problems if I don't alleviate it soon. I did get one replacement pair a while back when I retired the knee hole pair, but that's all I have now. By not getting a second pair, I had to do laundry sooner. Yeah, one hell of a consequence, huh? So I took care of that when I went to my mother's later that day.

I spent a good chunk of what I hope will be my last Saturday indoors for a while playing WOW. It's getting a little boring, actually. I play it mainly to pass the time. Hopefully it will pick up soon... a lot of my coworkers stopped leveling their main characters and started fucking around with alternates. They're waiting for everyone to be about the same level so we can haul ass and do epic raids as a group. I'm getting there! :) Leveling isn't too bad; it doesn't take weeks like other games I've played. I don't suspect it will take too long before this near-"end game" fun can begin. Though with the warming up of the outdoors, I'm becoming less inclined to sit in front of a computer screen all day. I do it enough at work.

Though we play on a PVP server, I haven't done much PVP (in any game, really). It can be fun, but it's also annoying. The server is roughly 50% "Alliance" characters and 50% "Horde" characters. Members of opposing groups can slaughter each other, anywhere (even newbie areas), anytime. The rush of fighting an equally skilled player is exilerating, and I enjoy it a lot. However, you will never have a fair fight. People attack other people when they know they can win, usually when their target is fighting something (someone) else. Or fight you 2-on-1. It's a cakewalk at that point. It happens to me all the time. I don't really put any effort in defending myself if the odds are ridiculous. But what's great is once you return to your body and ready yourself for battle, you find the motherfucker that killed you and kill him back. I usually sneak up to them and wait for them to be engaged with another target. Then I let them know how it feels! Ah, revenge tastes so sweet!

There are designated PVP areas and arenas throughout the game world, but I have yet to play in any of them. Here, you can do some sort of "team deathmatch," or play a game very similar to what you can find in many multiplayer first-person shooters: capture the flag, capture and hold, defend and destroy, etc. I'm interested in checking that out as the random character rapings out in "the field" are getting a bit old.

I watched some History Channel that night. Learned all about the Dark Ages. Good stuff. I don't really know a whole hell of a lot about the time period aside from the bubonic plague, so I found it to be neat. How Rome fell, how the empire was split up and how the West suffered, the rise in Christianity, the birth of Islam, how the Vikings almost set all of Europe back another 500 years (haha, they rock)... it was all great. I would have like to have seen more on Charlemagne, as he seems to rank up there as one of the best leaders of all time, and I don't really know a damn thing about him. There's only so much you can cover about a 700-year period in a 2-hour presentation. With commercials. Ah, Friday.
Didn't have any plans Friday night going into my last couple hours of work. On a whim, I called a buddy I haven't hung out with in a while, Mr. Man Candy Mitchell himself. Despite such short notice, he didn't shoot me down. Yay! I had a backup plan, but I like to give the boys a chance, though they won't buy me drinks like the ladies. :)

Didn't really accomplish much. Not sure why I'm even bothering to write about it. Got some food and drank some brews and went to a sporting goods store to get some frisbees for the upcoming season. I think we broke at least three frisbees last year. High-spin plastic kissing tar over and over again does take its toll after a while. Each frisbee came with a different "tips and tricks" disc, so I'm hoping we can learn some new shit to woo any onlookers with. Not that we really do any sort of freestyle frisbee action. We just toss that shit and try to look cool doing it.

Picked up a copy of Borat and watched that. That was pretty amusing. I bet I would have found it extremely hilarious if I didn't hear a good chunk of his lines during a radio interview I've heard. It will have to settle with a few chuckles.

Didn't get plastered. That was kinda my backup plan. But St. Patrick's Day is coming! :D Nothing sucks quite like a canker sore.
I'm sporting one right now. It's been there for three days. It hurts to do everything. It pisses me off greatly.

I always seem to get them in the same spot: in the lip area that hides under my lower left canine tooth. To me, that seems like a very bizarre spot to get a canker sore. A canker sore is essentially a mouth ulcer, and an ulcer is a hole. By my logic, I somehow got a hole or tear made on a section of lip that hides adjacent to the gums, away from the teeth. If a tooth didn't cause the tear, what did? I have no idea. And from what online research I was able to pull up, no one knows why they form in the first place. Super.

But at least I have it easy. My mother claims to be sporting six of them right now. Six! That's fucking nuts. I don't think I've ever had more than one at a time. And I might get a couple a year. No where near six. I'm sitting here bitching about one; I don't what to know what kind of hell she's going through at the moment.

But at least I can fight back. Nothing drips leet sauce quite like a nice dose of Listerine antiseptic. You know, the gold kind that burns your mouth to begin with. It doesn't feel as bad as one would suspect on a canker sore. Don't get me wrong, it still can hurt like a son of a bitch, but that just means it's working! :) Love it. Good shit.

Anyway...

Not sure what I'm gonna be doing this weekend. I have some errands I've been meaning to do for weeks, and I really want to get on them. I suppose I'll attempt to do most it early Saturday morning, assuming I'm not thoroughly fucked up from a night of drinking and partying. I can only hope.

I dreamed of opening my geocaching season this weekend (I consider Tuesday's cache to be a preseason game). Last year, I started on March 10. But with all of the cold we got this week, it looks like I'll have to wait for St. Patrick's Day to arrive first. Next week, it'll be 50+ degrees everyday here in Keene. That should take care of most of the snow problems, and replaced them with mud problems. Rock!

Warmer weather also means that I can rock out with the lunch time frisbee action. Frisbee golf will once again become a possibility. I'll be calling you every day, Mitchell. :D

That's all I have time to write right now. Time to do a little cleaning and go to bed. Yawn. Unsavory

Found It! March 5 by swhorfe (21 found)

On my way home chatting with Max Jerome and he tells me there is a new cache at the Gorge. I pulled in and he gave the the digits and i was headed in the woods. Lots of snow and no gloves but I was gonna find this thing. Jerome eventually showed up and we searched high and low getting lots of snow in our shoes (and glasses). I found it first. Lots of fun. TNLN. Thank you, [cache hider].

Trying to get back into the habit. Too bad we're getting all of our snow this season in a two-week period.

Yeah, me and Sean did a quick cache yesterday afternoon. It sucked pretty badly, as I suspected the cache would be located maybe ten feet from the parking lot (as this cache hider has been known to do), but it turned out to be much further along than that. It wasn't that far in, but the deep iced-over snow and our work shoes made for a shitty combination. We were not too impressed.

It's unclear how Sean found the cache, 'cause that thing was buried. I pretty much gave up on finding the cache, and then he found it a couple minutes later at the base of a tree near a ledge. Dangerous.

This cache was at Chesterfield Gorge, which is also a rest stop. We all know what goes on at rest stops. There were a couple guys walking around by the time I got there (I gave Sean the coordinates of the cache over the phone and he looked around for about ten minutes before I showed up), and there was one smiling fellow walking towards me. I avoided eye contact and walked behind the main building. I'm sure that didn't look suspicious of my intentions. At least mine were more innocent that stranger's. Welcome to Pickle Park, indeed. Jerome's obvious revelation #2
I'm not sure if this will be a regular thing or not, so I don't know if they are worth numbering. I'm not entirely sure if this become a list of obvious revelations or just a list of things that are not cool. If I keep this up, I have a feeling it will lean more towards the latter. Hmm. I hope this doesn't cause any problems with the imaginary patents with Frank's (archived) site of things that suck. I'm sure he'd be cool with it, though, being a former college roommate and all. Plus his lost site is a list of things that suck, which is subset of things that are not cool.

It's a damn shame that the shitty background he used to have didn't get backed up for all of eternity.

My first obvious revelation is two posts down.

Anyway, my latest obvious revelation (or perhaps something that is just not cool):

People that use the ring tones that I use for people that (used to) call me all of the time as their default ring tone are not cool. I'm not a big fan of sitting next to someone whose phone rings and I fill up with joy because I suspected a lost friend may be calling me. Then I look at my phone and realize mine isn't the one that's ringing. Then I go and write bad poetry in a dark corner of my apartment while crying myself to sleep.

</sarcastic morbidness> Tuesday Funnies

Dear Ma and Pa,

Am well. Hope you are. Tell brother Walt and brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, they git warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc..., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route marches," which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys gets sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat.

The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next thing will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get into this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Mary Lou

Crickets
I should probably write more often. Every time Tuesday draws near, I get worried that I may end up with back-to-back funnies. I should contribute a little more than that. Only thing is, nothing is going on. So maybe I can write a little bit of advice. Hmm...

Older men that try to flirt with women I'm currently scoping out are not cool. Seriously. What the hell.

Quite the revelation, no?

I'll try and have more for you later.