Back again.
Not that anyone noticed, but this site magically disappeared some time between when I went to bed last night and when I got home from work today. Apparently, it was time to renew my domain name and server account. I never got any emails that I had to renew soon, though my host claims they've been sending me reminders. I assume their emails have been getting filtered out for some reason. But anyway, yeah. maxjerome.net is alive and well again... for another two years, anyway. Wicked. Tuesday Funnies

A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar, completely drunk. He walks up to the bartender and asks for a drink. The bartender kindly tells the guy he can't give him a drink because he is already drunk. Angry, the guy stumbles back out the front door.

About five minutes later, the guy stumbles through the side door of the bar. He asks the bartender for a drink and once again the bartender says, "No, you¹re already drunk." The guy stumbles back through the side door.

A few minutes later the guy stumbles through the bar¹s back door. The guy walks up to the bar, looks at the bartender for a moment then says, "Damn, how many bars do you work at, anyway?"

Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhea.

Going global.
I've been spending a lot of my weekend "alone time" surfing the internet learning about various travel destinations. It seems a bit odd, as if I intend to travel anywhere, I'd really like to do so with someone else. And, if I'm gonna use some vacation time (I never have at any job), I have no interest in just doing nothing around the apartment or doing something locally. Hell, I don't even want to stay in the country. Though there is a lot for me to see across America, I wanna cross international borders.

We're not talking like London or Paris or any other "hack" vacation spot. I wanna go where other people don't go. If I were to give a "top five," I'm thinking (in no particular order):

* Buenos Aires (and Argentina as a whole) has been very fascinating to me lately, as it seems to be one of those places that are very far away, have indoor plumbing, and is really cheap for Americans to visit. You just better like steak. That's all they have. :) Though I don't speak a lick of Spanish, nor can I Tango, the bars don't close 'til 6 or 7am. And Iguazu Falls isn't too far away, either. Supposedly, those falls make Niagara look like fecal matter.

* Not sure why Nova Scotia piques my interest. I'm sure there's beautiful countryside and spectacular places to go hiking. Lots of caches in and around Halifax, too. :) It's also close enough that flying there shouldn't cost much. Driving there is a viable option, too, assuming this ain't a weekend stint.

* Egypt would just be cool to visit for no reason other than the to see them fancy pyramid things. I've always been fascinated with that ancient culture and their hieroglyphs. Not sure why. I just accept it. You should, too.

* The Azores, off the coast of Portugal. I don't really have a reason to be drawn to this place other than it just sounds like a place Americans don't vacation to. I find the Caribbean islands to be kinda hack. I think it's gonna cost one a lot of cake to visit here, though.

* Margarita Island, just north of Venezuela. If I had to go Caribbean, I'd check this place out. Again, it just sounds like a place not many tourists visit. It offers the same stuff as any other island in the area with awesome lagoons to boot.

That's right. I ain't messing around.

So uh... does anyone want to get some of the best steak in the world with me for cheap? "He gimme the watch..."
Thanksgiving went better than expected, though my expectations weren't high to being with. The cast of characters present didn't piss me off or bore me to tears. In fact, though I was looking to escape after lunch as soon as I could, I ended up staying for dinner as well. Eight hours. Not too shabby, eh? Got some games of Cribbage in with Dad, too, which I haven't played in many moons.

Though I didn't play it, my dad's Pock board was out, and people were playing that. Pock is the same thing as Trouble, but instead of 8-10 spaces between each "home," there are 18 on a Pock board. You still only roll one die. A four-player game will run for two or three hours. It's ridiculous. Not sure why it's called "Pock," but it's a big piece of wood with billions of grooves for marbles to be placed. Not exactly as travel-friendly as Trouble. But anyhoo, I forgot this board existed... I haven't seen it in probably 20 years. Epic.

Working in a business-to-business environment the day after Thanksgiving is typically a waste of time, but we remained busy from beginning to end. Didn't get out as early as anticipated, but that's ok because there was (surprisingly) work to be done.

Didn't go drinking Friday night because the bar we (lolBrown and I like hitting the drunky water each Friday night) frequent was closed. Painting in progress.

Didn't do a single thing all day Saturday, but did go out Saturday night to make up for the disaster the night before. I think we're getting too good at pool, though. Our games end too quickly now. The quarters disappear at an astonishing rate. I sank three striped balls in three different pockets with one shot! :) That'll never happen again. But anyhoo, maybe we should turn to foosball or something else we really suck at.

As for Sunday, I spent part of the afternoon in Peterborough doing some light caching, then spent about $11 at Ocean State Job Lot on olive oil, hazelnut spread, and other nonsense. I tried to get something together with someone later in the day, but it never panned out. I don't remember how I made the hours go by after getting shut down, though I do recall watching Pulp Fiction on my big screen.

It's an exciting life I lead. Please stop with the urban myths.
The tryptophan in turkey is not what causes you to get sleep, particularly after a Thanksgiving feast. Tryptophan only works on an empty stomach. And, it turns out that chicken, pork, and cheese contain more tryptophan than turkey. So what causes people to get sleepy after a Thanksgiving meal? The fact that they can't stop stuffing their fucking fat faces full of carbohydrates. Your body is working hard to digest everything you can't say "no" to. Asshole. Matt Damon?
I was just trolling around being bored when I magically came across this site that determines what celebrities you most resemble. So, I took the pic I use on my account page over at geocaching.com and ran it through "the battery" and this is what it came up with:



Wish I knew who the hell half of these people were. On the plus side, the person that looks most like me is married to Sarah Michelle Gellar. So with my looks, I suspect I could totally bang a Buffy look-alike, if not Buffy herself. Whee! Who do you look like?

Also, it's been determined...

It would take 16 Rum and Cokes to kill me

...if drunk over a three hour period. Haven't written in a while.
Not much noteworthiness has occurred, anyway. So whatever.

I've been battling my second bout of SARS in a month. This latest strain is weaker than its predecessor, luckily. At this point, I've been a few days off the NyQuil. All I've been doing is coughing. No runny nose or other sinus goodness this time around. I'm pretty stoked about that.

It did ruin my weekend, though. Didn't go out Friday night, which has become standard procedure. All I did Saturday was sleep. And Sunday was kinda a waste of time, though I did see Mom and got my laundry done there. Whee.

I completed half of my Christmas shopping Monday night. And I have gift ideas for those that haven't been bought for, with the exception of my sister's kid and her husband's kid. But it won't be too hard to figure out what will work for a 10 and 12 year old. Suck it.

I'm gonna go to my Dad's for Thanksgiving. Without Sister. I don't remember a time in the last 15 years where I did something with my father without my sister being around. So that may prove to be interesting, since we don't ever talk to one another. My sister will be visiting her in-laws that day. At my dad's will be flaky members of his wife's side of the family, so I suspect I'll be in and out of there as quick as I can.

Mom doesn't have any real sort of get-together going on. She hasn't the last few years: just friends of the family showing up. But I'm hoping I'll get to see her after lunch at Dad's anyway. It's a lot of driving for one day, though, and I do have to be back in the office Friday.

I'd like to get some geocaching done in Nashua before going to my dad's, but the weather doesn't look to be too promising. Rain and shit or something. Hmm.

Did I mention that there's snow on the ground right now? Maybe I'll get a pic tomorrow morning. Unless it heats up soon, it'll make finding tupperware and ammo cans a little tougher than usual. Tuesday Funnies
Two for one special today, just because I'm such a swell guy.

The game

A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, that the game is a lot of fun. "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the blonde's attention; and, to keep him quiet, she agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop, searches all references. He uses the airphone, he searches the 'net, and even the Library of Congress. He sends e-mail's to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail.

After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde takes the $500 and goes back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes her up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"

The blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

Your drivers license tells it all

A mother is driving a little girl to her friend"s house for a play date.

"Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"

"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied. "It's not polite."

"OK", the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"

"Now really," the mother says, "those are personal questions and are really none of your business."

Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

"That is enough questions, young lady, honestly!"

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

"My mom won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to her friend.

"Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card, it has everything on it."

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32."

The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?

"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."

The mother is past surprised and shocked now. "How in heaven's name did you find that out?"

"And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why you and daddy got a divorce."

"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"

"Because you got an F in sex."

What the hell happened?
1 U.S. dollar = 0.971500074 Canadian dollars

Reached as low as 91 cents not too long ago.

Clearly, I don't pay attention to the news often (or at all), because those Canucks have had us beat for about two months now. "Nyquil makes a dandy eggnog."
While I sit here pounding the (red) NyQuil coming up with Christmas gift ideas for all of the friends and family I intend to buy for, I came across a couple interesting links:

50 things not to say at the Thanksgiving table.

Human Tetris. Finally, a Japanese game show other than MXC that I can appreciate!

Speaking of, here are MXC's top 25 most painful eliminations (of the day?).

Surprisingly, I was able to determing what I'm gonna get for most people on my list tonight. Whee! Tuesday Funnies

Dinner

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous woman sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you."

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh.

She asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap. They have a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet breakfast.

The guy is amazed. Everything has been SO incredible. "You know," he says, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."

Ba dum bum ching. Still the same.
Over at Ansir.com, they have a 168-question personality test that takes appoximately 30-45 minutes to complete. It grades you on how you think, how you work, and how you emote.

I took this test today, almost four years to the day that I first took it. Though I'm positive some of my answers have changed drastically since the first time I took it, I am somewhat surprised that my thinking, working, and emotional stylings still came up exactly the same. Not that my four-year-old results still don't hold true today, but even with just life running its course and new experiences and new people forever changing me, deep down I still operate the same way.

To use a 5-10 year old reference, I think and work like Scully, but have the complete distrust of Mulder. I miss that show. You know, before it started sucking. But I digress.

Anyhoo, this is how I've been rolling for at least the last four years:

1 of the 2 ANSIR Logicals
DILIGENT Thinking Style of Strength

* There is a right way and a wrong way of doing everything, and they know the most right way of all.
* They perform best when given their own realm of responsibility.

Born competent and capable, Diligent harbours executive excellence and are the backbone of the business world. For these cerebral beings, reality conforms to logic. Diligent plays with ideas and makes sport of problems. When a Diligent starts a project, they do so from the premise of a clearly defined problem and set objective. They then gather all relevant information, organize a system for its solution, roll up their sleeves, and with notebook in one hand and pen in the other they begin working Step One of their plan. Once all criteria has been met, checked, and rechecked again, they use that as their foundation for processing Step Two. Detail and data are their barometer of progress. By criteria of fact do they measure success. This sequential, methodical and meticulous approach is repeated at each level of development and through to completion. Throughout, they cannot and will not be rushed. They have developed and perfected their purely logical, note-taking approach for a reason. Diligent hates being wrong.

I don't consider myself to be (that) stubborn, but if one way works, I don't see a big need to change it. I don't mind being proven wrong, but I hate to fail.

1 of the 2 ANSIR Logicals
DILIGENT Working Style of Strength

* They are reliable and dependable workers, who respect hierarchical order of command.
* Logical and perfectionistic, they check and re-check work, and resent being rushed.

Diligent knows how to work, likes to work and strives to get things done right the first time around. Their working style is methodical, logical and perfectionistic. They are the workplace "pick of the litter" when the call is for thoroughness. They are worker bees with an impressive intellect and an unwavering dedication to the task, to the goal and to the company's future. Detail is their particular ease and expertise. Data measures progress and against the criteria of fact do they gauge success. They will not be rushed and take shortcuts. Nor will they leave until the job is done to their satisfaction. The Diligent strength performs precisely and reliably day-in and day-out, though not uncomplainingly. Routine and predictability are reassuring to the security-conscious Diligent. Throughout history, education and business have been modelled along Diligent principles of hard work, logic, discipline, a penny saved is a penny earned and gold watch retirement. But, old world dinosaurs they are not! As Tonto was to The Lone Ranger, Diligent is to the movers and shakers of business.

This is kinda inside, but phone plano anyone? That was my bitch for a multitude of reasons, some being that it's the worst planogram to do (typically a 13-hour job) and even harder to do correctly. Yet I always won.

1 of the 2 ANSIR Instinctives
SENTINEL Emoting Style of Strength

* No pain is greater for them than betrayal.
* They keep diaries or personal journals.

A most common emoting style. Behind trademark reserve and alluring attractiveness is an individual who is hard to know and harder to love. Trust is the wall that divides. Whether Sentinel trust is an open or shut case depends on how each person has evolved and adjusted to three personality-typical determinants: language, loyalty, and new experiences. Characteristic of a Sentinel is a crane calm look of time-suspended stillness or fixed concentration. None other portrays mind-at-work like them. Others are often surprised at the thoroughness and depth delivered, when they do respond and reply. No thought, no word, no action is more painful to these sensitive beings than "good-bye." So ingrained is their conviction that all good must come to an end that Sentinel may not risk "hello." If by nature they are skeptical and by choice, reticent, then one question begs answer. Is there a causal relationship between reticence and the fact that Sentinel suffers internal degenerative illnesses more often than others? What is eating Sentinel from the inside out?

Whoever coined the phrase, "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" is a no-talent dim-witted asshole. But maybe that's just the Sentinel in me speaking. Betrayal and/or losing love blows incredibly hard.

What's funny is that most of my better friends don't see me as a loner type. But then you take a look at how many people I'm willing to call a "friend" and the fact that only two one person earned and still has my trust post college, and maybe it's not a big shock at all. Black Friday
The sites retailers don't want you to see! Not sure why... I don't understand why they have to keep a six-hour sale top secret. And if I'm going to wait in line hours before the store even opens, I want to know where I'm going to get the best deals and what I'm going to buy.

Black Friday Ads
Black Friday Info
BlackFridayAds.com
TheBlackFriday.com Brr!
It's too cold to cache anymore. I tried to find one this afternoon and froze to death. Well, maybe not to death since here I sit typing away, but it was fucking cold nonetheless. Not being able to hike on the weekends means I have finally entered the phase of the year that I don't particuarly enjoy... the phase where I sit around my apartment and do nothing. I got plenty of dvd's to watch and some games I could play, but I'm pretty much taking any offer from others to get out of my apartment that I can. I hope there will be plenty of them. Not likely, though. I'm sure I'll find a few more caches this year -- I'd like to end the year with #666 -- but we'll see.

Speaking of it being fucking cold, I did break down and start using some heat on Thursday.

My bedroom window throws a lot of cold air into the room, and with the help of a lovely friend equiped with a blow dryer, we're gonna plastic wrap my windows so that I don't die... and manage to save some heating money in the process. I never wrapped my windows last winter; I have no fucking clue how I made it through. I do remember spending a couple nights on my love seat because my bedroom was too cold, though. I'm looking forward to it.

On further inspection of the window in question, there is about a 1/8" gap from the window sill to the window frame. The cold air blows in through there. Tuesday Funnies

Golf Lessons

An attractive young woman had finished taking golf lessons from the Club pro.

She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.

The pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse.

Her Golf Pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, "Why are you back so early? What's wrong?"

"I was stung by a bee," was her reply.

"Where?" he asked.

"Between the first and second hole."

He nodded knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide."

So cold

Jurek: so how you doing?
Me: doing ok
Me: cold
Me: but i don't want to turn the heat on
Me: heh
Jurek: so expensive? *G*
Me: definitely not getting any cheaper :)
Me: i'm turning it into a game
Jurek: thats right
Me: seeing how late in the year i can go before turning it on
Jurek: "How cold can it get"?
Me: hehe
Jurek: just put some more warm clothes on
Me: "what will freeze first? me or the pipes?"
Jurek: ROFL

You are an Independent Director.
Test available at PersonalDNA.com.

about you
You are a Director

As a DIRECTOR, you combine an unusual openness and passion for beauty and style with confidence and a down-to-earth sensibility that allow you to realize your vision.

You are practical and pay attention to the details that others tend to miss.
By focusing on what is real and concrete, you achieve more than those who always have their heads in the clouds.
When it comes to what really matters in your life, you are confident in your ability to succeed.
Having beautiful things in your life gives you pleasure and satisfaction - you have a keen eye for style.
Even when problems present themselves, deep down you know you will overcome these challenges.
When routines get too familiar, you become bored and start looking for ways to spice things up.
You are open to new types of experiences - you are not afraid to take a risk on something new.
You have a highly developed sense of taste - you know what looks good on you, in your home, and in the world at large.
You do your own thing when it comes to clothing, guided more by practical concerns than by other people's notions of style.

If you want to be different:

Occasionally let yourself dream a little more, even if it doesn't seem practical or efficient.

how you relate to others
You are Independent

Your inward focus, trusting nature, and sharp sense of right and wrong make you INDEPENDENT.

Your thoughts and actions are not reliant on what others think about you; you have a clearly defined moral structure.
When it comes to others, you are very practical, expecting people to take care of themselves.
You generally believe the best about people, but you hold them to high standards.
Similarly, you believe in maintaining integrity, honor, and a sense of respect for those who have earned their success.
Trust needs to be earned with you; you're slow to forgive when people have violated your trust.
Spending time alone means a lot to you, as does keeping certain things private.
You quietly observe a lot about the world, giving you a keen sense of both how things are and how things should be.
You've learned that you need to prioritize your own feelings, as opposed to always considering others' feelings first.

If you want to be different:

Let your trust in others allow you to consider that interpersonal situations can be complex, and that people's feelings in those situations can take many forms.
Accordingly, in working harder to understand people's perspectives, you might find that their insights can help you make better decisions.

I think I like my results from 18 months ago more. I find it a little hard to believe that this time around, my "trust in others" score is a 54%. I've been trying to improve on that, but I still don't have any esteem in anyone.

I'm still 100% earthy, though.

My interest in self-actualization has been piqued recently. I'll probably retake a lot of these type of tests to see if I've changed at all. Yay introspection.
Spent a lot of time tonight organizing personal pictures and videos that I have scattered throughout my computer and my cameras. I had a lot of stuff that wasn't dated, but courtesy of this site's archives and reading file properties, I was able to get everything into a chronological order and set up for easier access. Maybe I'll share some wonderful forgotten gems at a later date.

Looking through what I have (which really isn't that much) and cross-referencing with the archives, it's neat to see what was going on with myself and those around me when certain pictures or videos were taken. It's also amazing to see how, since that exact moment in time, realtionships with people and other things have changed since then. Some have been for the better. Some not so much.

It's also interesting to see, courtesy of the depth of my weblog archives, what I was doing one year ago today and two years ago today. Two years ago, I was incrediblely frustrated with my to-be-roommate blowing me off for the last time. Nowadays, she and I are closer than we've ever been. Last year at this time, I was complaining about working two jobs and thinking about whoring myself on MySpace. Right now, I wonder if I should consider going back just so I'll have something to do this winter (they've asked for my return when I visited two weeks ago!), and the whole MySpace thing has still been mulling around in my head. It doesn't appear that an official ten-year high school reunion is going to take place, and thus MySpace may be my best medium to get back in touch with some people. Though they could just Google my name and find my site. And on page 2, they can find Jonny talking shit about me. :)

It's very neat to see where I've been, what I was doing, and where I felt I ranked among things. It's also neat to see me flourishing, and surpassing who or what hasn't changed. I'm very curious as to what I'll be doing another year or two from now. Hell, even the next three or four months look like they could be very "do or die" for me. As long as I don't end up in the gutter giving handjobs for crack money, I think I'll be ok.

</epiphany>